It's pouring. Andy walks a few paces ahead of Chris "No Change Of I'm-Only-In-One Scenery" Harrison into a makeshift Room of Reckoning downstairs somewhere. Or maybe it's the same one. Nah. It's the same one. Chris tells Andrew (and tries to brand our minds with lies in pretending that this has always been true) that he has been "one of America's most eligible bachelors, and [he's] ready to put an end to that." Andy tells Chris that he can't wait to "start a new chapter in [his] life." Chris takes a look at the ring, which Andy tells us "is oval-shaped. Which the gentleman told me symbolizes a bigger family." Man, that Randy Salespitch totally didn't even miss a beat, did he? I think that's Jen's ring. Is it? Is it, though? Chris explains for the fourth season running that the girls haven't seen each other and won't, and they won't know if they're going to be arriving first or second. There's one more round of video messages, but if Andy still hasn't made up his mind at this point, then the ubiquitous "Bill" is pretty much the least of his problems right now. And alas, here they come: Jen can picture herself at the vineyard, and she's falling in love with him. Kirsten has had an "incredible journey." Andy's face betrays no emotion. She sees a wonderful future, and she wants it to be with him. It's not an end. It's a beginning. I'm pretty sure Bill will feel just exactly the same way when she comes crawling back.
Seriously, you guys? It's pouring. A limo pulls up as Andrew watches stoically, and Chris opens the back door to reveal...Kirsten! Hmmm. Even at this point, though, I wonder if maybe The Bachelor didn't throw one final twist in and have the girl who gets out of the limo first be the one that he picked. You've got to admit she looks pretty damned good. Her hair is nicely done up and she's wearing a pink (never a great color, really) gown that's all ruffly and stuff. She tells us in a final, desperate, gasping interview, "I am in love with Andrew and I really feel like he's ready to start a life and a relationship with me." She walks toward him telling us about their amazing "connection" that she feels after such a short time, and she finishes that "all signs point to the fact that tonight I will have a ring on my finger." Sin of pride, Going To Cru-Hell-a de Ville. Sin of pride.