Jen and Andrew are in the hot tub now, Andy telling her, "I don't care what I did leading up 'til now, 'cause if it got me here, then it was worth it. Even if I made the biggest fool of myself..." Jen emphatically interrupts, "Which you did not." Sigh. More explained subplots, hanging like the threads of Andy's New Hat on the Block, cut to unrecognizable shreds by the merciful soul who first relieved him of it. They kiss, they're hot, they get out. Back inside, more smoochy, Jen telling us that she's "nervous" and "scared," knowing that she can't be 100% sure of whether she's getting the rose and the ring. Is that a lot? "Can't get more than that."
What on the green, green earth is It's All Relative and why has it not yet been cancelled? Didn't the world already have one Normal, Ohio?
Kirsten. See, but everything that happens with her now is going to be tinged. Tinged with doubt. This is how a family gets to where they are and stays there. Gotta be shrewd. Gotta work hard. Can't just go around, flying in this wonderful dream of...oh, hi, Kirsten. She enters the Bachelor Pad to find Andy once more wearing his Argentina sweatshirt, and she tells him, "You look cute!" In the current climate, the only compliment he wants to hear from her is "Though I am currently one of two women in your life, you are the only one for me. Another sip of this delicious double standard? Why, thank you. Don't mind if I do!" Everything seems okay on the surface, but Andrew's interviews are filled with "but." But? "But coming into tonight, I wanted to ask Kirsten about her ex-boyfriend. I was pretty curious about what my brother was able to find out that I wasn't able to over the past month." He's pouring wine for Kirsten now, and she asks what his family thought of her. He responds, "I will download you completely." Ew. That is the tackiest. And, if I may point out, not a little gross, too. What a 1997-ish attempt to incorporate high-tech computer words into his everyday lexicon. Anyway, they hop in his e-mobile and he takes her on a wild ride down the information superhighway, where he tells her, "My parents were totally, totally impressed." She tells her how comfortable she felt among them, adding, "Your mom really reminded me of my mom." Maybe they hugged for so long when they first met because Lockjaw could smell Kirsten's mom on her. Even the most upper-crust folks can return to such primal instincts, you know?
And, we're cooking dinner. Andrew leads the witness by asking if there was anything she was concerned about at the dinner, and she cops to feeling a little weird "when [his] brother asked [her] about [her] whole ex-boyfriend situation." Scary music. Kirsten notes, "I hope that doesn't turn into the deciding factor" and then angrily chops a carrot and could kill him with a glance. Man, that look. Andy volleys back, "He wants to make sure that his baby brother is taken care of." Andy continues, "I felt a little bit silly, because I basically explained what the situation was, which was basically what he heard from you." And so Kirsten takes a chance to set the record straight: three-year relationship, should have ended a year and a half ago, knew that he wasn't going to commit, came out to Cali and met Andy, realized what real love was, happy ending. Right? RIGHT? That pasta looks delicious. Andy tells her that he went through the same thing with his ex-girlfriend, and that he is "totally sympathetic." They hug, and he tells us, "I do believe it is over with her ex-boyfriend." Now it's all out in the open. The plan. Has it backfired? Hot tub, hot tub, smacky kissing, hot tub. When he's with Kirsten, Andrew "feels as though it's right." He adds, "I could definitely see her as my wife." She even tries to coax his final answer out of him. He still doesn't know whom he's picking. Kirsten is pretty sure it's her, telling us, "I hope Andrew has fallen in love with me the way I've fallen in love with him."