Back at the house, everyone hates Trish. Mostly because of comments like this: "I've had the opportunity to really [sic] see what it's like to be with someone who is absolutely wonderful and who makes a lot of money and be exposed to great people, great connections, great trips." But no punctuation. Jenny S. -- who is the spy even though she's not in spy regalia right now -- tells us that she thinks Jesse is being "fooled by Trish," opining, "If he got to see what happened in the house...about hating children and how much money is so important to her, there's no way he would end up with her." Yeah. If only. Why is this a subplot? Every time The Spy talks, the caller ID on my phone shows that the dialer is calling from 310-867-5309. Even Tommy Tutone is all, "Y'all, she's the spy. Can I have a quarter?"

Mandy Jaye (who? Never mind) steals Jesse out of the hot tub for a visit to...another, teenier hot tub. He goes into some detail about his post-game ritual, during which he finds himself walking to the player's parking lot (the place for love), and seeing all of the other players with their wives and their kids and their ability to throw. He notes, "The hardest thing is meeting somebody that doesn't judge me by what I do." Well, it doesn't seem to have gotten in the way of any of your teammates' finding love, now has it? I'm just saying it seems like a well-tended rationalization that really means, "I'm a dick," and that it's not just Jesse (though it's mostly Jesse). It exists in every line of work. "Oh, no one understands how hard it is to be a professional football player because no one can ever kick for the field goal of my soul" means "I'm a dick." "Oh, no one understands how hard it is to be a professional actor because I live my life inhabiting other characters so how can someone ever love me for me" means "I'm a dick." "Oh, no one understands how hard it is to be a professional male model because all of these women just want me for my body" means "I'm secretly gay." And, finally, "Oh, no one understands how hard it is to be a professional cheerleader because, quite frankly, nobody gives a crizzap" means "I am Julie."