Bachelor
Spy Vs. Not Spy

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Your Trish Your Trish Is On His List

The limos pull up to Jesse's house, and the milling portion begins. Tara shares with Jenny the feeling that she can't be herself in the group setting, and we cut to her third-degreeing Jesse about his "tired of waking up to a random face" comment of mere group date earlier. He tells her that he is sincerely looking for someone in his life now, and that his old, bachelor-y behavior (as opposed to now, when he's on a show called The Bachelor) is in the past. She returns to the rest of the girls and reports that she thinks he's "in it for the right reasons," the reason of course being a sports anchor job on ESPN. Er, "true love." I totally meant "true love."

Jenny is the spy, y'all. Jesse walks in on Trish and Jesse chillin' together, and he sits and talks to them about their faults. He wants to fall in love with a woman and all of her faults, and he wants a woman to fall in love with all of his faults. It seems there will be plenty to love. Elsewhere, Tara mentions that she thinks three people are definitely getting a rose: Jessica B., Mandy Jaye, and Trish. Now, I still can't tell the difference between "blonde" and "other blonde," so I have no idea whether these Kreskin-y predictions ultimately pan out, and really the only girl I really remember from last week is the French-Canadian one, but she hasn't said so much as J'adore Terre-Neuve this week, so I don't even really remember which one she is, either.

Jesse takes a private meeting with Kristy is a back room somewhere. And, okay. Basically, when I say I think someone rocks on one of these shows, I mean it in the most relative way available. After all, it takes a lot of not being like me or anyone I know to go to a television network's website, fill out a lot of paperwork to appear on a reality television show where the central conceit is finding true love, submitting urine tests with a mailing label "c/o The Office Of Mike Fleiss" affixed to them, informing an employer that you need to take a leave of absence for some reason, and ditching your life to fly to L.A. for six weeks. But within that framework and imagining for a moment that's something normal people do -- or maybe we can even imagine that it's required by law, like the Israeli Army or something -- Kristy rocks. And why? Because she thinks Jesse is a tool. Why she didn't just wait until the rose was offered to her and then turn it down remains a mystery of this show, but this is good enough. Jesse sits down and tells her, "You look wonderful." She shoots back, "You look well." Ha! Let that woman park wherever she wants, because her license plates scream "Diplomat." She goes on: "I know in my heart that you're not the guy I'm supposed to marry." Knowing that, she adds, she has no choice but to get the living hell out of this moral hellscape.

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Bachelor

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