Bachelor
Taller Than The Washington Monument

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A Fantasy Suite In The Lincoln Bedroom

Mandy Jaye sees Jesse walk toward her for dinner, and they head over to a grand dining room. Jesse notes that if he doesn't see a "spark" tonight, there's no reason to go to the fantasy suite.

Trish changes into her dress and puts on shoes. "Between the dress and the heels and the legs, I've got a mean power of persuasion...I am going to right this wrong that's been made at any cost." And for a second, you kind of think it's going to work.

Mostly around the time we see Jesse ask Mandy Jaye for what seems like the nineteeth time if she enjoyed the boat.

Trish walks through the lobby. Hitchcockian strings pound.

Mandy Jaye asks what's for dinner. Jesse is sure it'll be "amazing," even coming from a kitchen we're about to learn is "hell." It's awesome. Stick around. It's the only thing worth being here for.

Rum-dum-dum-dum, rum-dum-dum-dum! Excessively over-dramatic music slams on the soundtrack as Trish marches toward the dining-room entrance, as I consider the number of angles they're catching her from and musing on the fact that there is almost NO WAY Jesse didn't know this was coming. They had to bring, like, eight extra crews to D.C. And they totally told him it was because of all the monuments. And he totally believed them. "What I want," Trish says, answering the producer's leading question by rephrasing it as an answer, "is to hear him say he made a mistake." The following effects are then used to frame Trish as she enters the dining room where Jesse and Mandy Jaye are not sharing a connection: slow-mo. Silhouette on the curtains. Bewildered reaction shots. But look, other than that, it was totally her idea and there's nothing at all contrived about this moment at all. Mandy Jaye smiles broadly like Regis and the other judges just asked her, "As Miss America, would you submit to a total frontal lobotomy, or is the one you already had going to suffice, you think?" I think it will suffice, y'all.

Trish saunters with those legs! and those shoes! over to the table as Jesse's confessional tells us, "Oh my god, I might have a stalker." Trish asks for a moment of Jesse's time as Mandy Jaye lapses into "don't move or cry and it'll all be over soon" mode, as Jesse and Trish retire to the kitchen. She asks how he's doing, and he returns the pleasantry. I feel this is going extremely well! She asks how his day is going. He indicates that his day has been fine. Totally not awkward! And then, she gets to the gritty: "It's been kind of a crazy week, to be honest with you. I think I was so shocked the last time that you and I kind of parted ways. I just didn't feel like we ended things." Jesse notes that the dining room (though not the company in it) was "heaven" and the bright, hectic kitchen was "hell," which does a tremendous service to lunch ladies and members of various waitstaffs all over the world.

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Bachelor

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