Bachelor
Taller Than The Washington Monument

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A Fantasy Suite In The Lincoln Bedroom

A shot of the dining room shows Mandy Jaye just sitting there. Were they expecting her to put a wine glass up to the door to try and listen? Because she didn't. Do anything.

Trish, however, does some more stuff, admitting, "I see how you look at me, from that first night. Because I look at you the same way. I know how you kissed me." Jesse responds that he doesn't deny a physical chemistry, but he tells her he's looking for someone to spend the rest of his life with and that his heart is telling him he doesn't have a future with her. Trish tells him that she doesn't see it working with any of the other three girls, a surefire tactic to win his heart by showing him why all of the other girls hated her in the first place. But it's kind of funny. So here it is: "Jessica. Her age. She does not know who she is, or really what she wants. Tara. Personally? Spoiled." Heh. "Mandy. Very sweet. I think she needs a little more time to come into her own." A shot of Mandy Jaye shows her...well, never mind. Jesse sticks to his guns, telling her that he's "handed [his] roses out," and that he stands by his decision. Trish hands him a hotel key and sends him back to dinner, telling him she'll be waiting in her hotel room. He whispers a creepy-ass "thank you" and goes back through the door, away from all the common-placers making his life "hell" by cooking the meal, cleaning the dishes, pouring the wine, and doing so for a week's wage less than the cost of one cloth napkin on that table. You monsters! Why must you go out of your way to make Jesse's life into such a living hell?

Trish departs, and Mandy Jaye regards Jesse with that "oh, you were away?" glance we've come to know so well. He apologizes, and she tells him he has nothing to be sorry for: "This is not a normal dating situation." It's not a groundbreaking statement, but at least it finally lacked the words "pageant" or "I was in a." For some reason, Mandy Jaye's pressure under fire leads Jesse to want to screw her. He hands her the fantasy-suite note. This one contains a key, which I really thought was the key to Trish's room. Mandy Jaye takes a surprisingly high road, telling Jesse she wants him to ask and not have the generic unsigned note do the work for him. Good job, Mandy Jaye! But I guess she did have all that uninterrupted time without thinking or moving to come up with it. They retire to their room, where a circular window frames the Washington Monument, inspiring Jesse to the following bout of poetry: "It's like that monument was built just for that window." WHAT? "And that hot tub." Ooooooh. Trish is lonely in her suite, holding back tears and telling us, "I have so much love to give somebody. I just haven't found him yet." Jesse looks at the Washington Monument and thinks about his penis.

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