Bachelor
Taller Than The Washington Monument

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A Fantasy Suite In The Lincoln Bedroom

Up in the rarely seen Room Of Reckoning, Jesse continues to think about his penis. He gazes upon the photos of the three women, and then watches some video messages. Tara had a great time in Quebec City and she wants to meet his parents. Jessica found her date "indescribable," and is falling in love with Jesse. Mandy Jaye isn't getting a rose.

"Each week it gets harder," Jesse says, to a response of girlish snickering that I'm ready to get mad at before I realize I'm the only person in my apartment so it must be coming from me. Ah, well. "I cannot wait to bring two of you home to meet my family." Wouldn't it be awesome if they came home at the same time? Or if this show had ended after the third season?

Tara, will you accept this rose? And leave Paul's Valley? What kind of a monster is he?

Jessica, will you accept this rose? What's that? She was too busy finishing up her personal statement for I'm Spineless Aren't U. in time for fall admission.

Yeah, like we didn't know this was coming. Jesse walks Mandy Jaye out and sits her down, telling her, "I want you to know that I'm falling in love with two women inside the house." There was no math segment in the pageants...can you be a little more specific? Mandy Jaye says something nonsensical and Hallmark-y about love, and hops in the limo. He's already forgotten her name, and from inside the limo she tells us, "I think I was definitely beginning to fall in love with Jesse." She laments that she allowed herself to think about hearing him propose to her. And you know what else? Pageants.

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Bachelor

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