Up in the helicopter now, Andrew and Jen are wearing those giant earphones with the microphones at the end that were such a godsent inhibitor for Trista in her constant battle to avoid having to be in any way intimate with Russ (I think she would have gone on a date to a Klan meeting just so she could be all, "Look! These convenient hoods will prevent us from having to even see each others' faces, much less mash them together in a shameful display of what you humans call love." But anyway). Jen and Andrew touch down in Palm Springs and wind up at some spa that they oooh and aaah over despite the fact that it looks exactly like both of the houses they're living in on the show. They crack open a bottle of champagne and retire to a nearby couch, where Andrew tells us in an interview how "at ease" he feels when he's around her. Andrew regales her with tales of his siblings and how many kids they have. Hold on, now! I thought the "getting to know you stage" was over. I feel no such "fire," except the one I have just set in my hair to keep things interesting and me awake. Andrew shares the offspring statistics of his siblings, explaining in a misguided tense -- indicating that his oratory powers are sic-ly at best -- "One has four kids, four kids, and three kids." Wait, what? One of his siblings has eleven kids? What a strange numerical construction. I look forward to Andrew's musings on "how many blackbirds are baked in a pie" and his historical analysis of "how long ago our fathers brought forth upon this continent a new nation." What's going on? Is this the experimental section? I feel like I've been watching this episode for nine quatrains and a bushel.
Andrew asks Jen her thoughts on how many kids she would like to have. She employs the same "word problem" logic Andrew did so ambiguously earlier, trying to tailor her answer to his by barking out a dozen conflicting numbers: "Two or three, maybe. I don't think four. But if I had a boy and a girl, and had two boys, I would try for a girl." Andrew corrects her in the form of a question: "You would try, or we would try?" Jen laughs nervously, clearly a little flustered because she hasn't seen the dailies and doesn't know that Andrew has also already offered to father Amber's children, elope to Hawaii with Kirsten, conjure the ghost of Schwab to offer Christina advice on porkbellies, commission the Lord Himself to construct a new planet called LizTopia on which he will live with his bride and her many facial twitchings and divergent personalities, and secure Ann-Michelle's place in history by personally petitioning the dictionary to change the name of the "elevator" to the Ann-Michellevator. I'm just saying, the guy's made a lot of false promises.