Jen and Andrew are in white bathrobes and slippers now, walking up a flight of stairs to their afternoon massages. They chatter on about being on a date while they're on their date, and Andrew tells us in voice-over that, more than her looks or her personality, Andrew's favorite thing about Jen is as follows: "A calmness I feel when I'm around her." Oh, Andrew. This "calmness" you refer to now is what the rest of the world refers to as "deep, deep slumber." Face it, y'all. They gave the man twenty-four girls and a big ol' box of Sleepytime Tea.
It's after dark back at the Palace Of Malice when Christina finds the second date box outside. The women assemble in the living room to find a note to Kirsten, which she reads: "Join me for a trip down Memory Lane." She reads it like she's all affronted that Ye Olde Crier didn't walk into town with a giant scroll and read the note for Her Grace in the square. She makes a face like, "All these consonants are hurting my nose job!" Careful with the facial wrinkling, dear. If someone slaps you on the back, your plastic surgery freezes like that and your face will look that way forever.
Outside the house, the girls hate Kirsten more than I do, even. Tina tells us that "even though someone looks great on paper, they might not be so great in person," though we never learn if she's talking about Kirsten or not, while Liz follows up that she's "a wolf in sheep's clothing," though we never learn if she's talking about Kirsten or not. Christina scoffs that it's "not fair" that "some people" are getting two one-on-one dates while other people are getting none. Don't look at us, Christina. Blame science.
"I am always going to get a massage before I eat dinner," Andrew says outside at a dinner table for two. Jen volleys back, "And eat dinner in a robe!" Oh, and they're still in their bathrobes. The young but benevolent King Andrew thus decrees, "If you and I end up together after this is all done, we're going to eat dinner once a month in a robe." Thy will is done. Let us sup, then, whilst ensconced in these finest threads made from the cloth of terry, and enjoyeth the sounds of crickets chirping whilst secretly wishing we could at least be outfitted in some securing form of undergarmentry. Because honestly, this is a little creepy. One thing's for sure, I'm never looking anyone up ever in any of the phone books he's sitting on to make it look like he's as tall as she is. Andrew turns the topic back to the house, apologizing, "I know I'm harping on this." Whatever. It's better than the previous conversational bullet point of determining wacky theme nights for dinners that will never occur following an engagement that's not going to happen. In other words: stuff it, Robespierre. Jen can't think of an original way to answer the same question again, so she breaks out a fiddle and a penny flute to play that old tune of "I think of all of the girls that none of us has clicked with Kirsten" from her legendary album release, Songs in the Key of Zzzzzzzz. In an interview, Jen muses that she thinks that Kirsten will be her competition "until the end." Andrew asks if Jen thinks that his wife is in the remaining group of six, and Jen replies by vaguely pointing her index finger toward her forehead and replying, "That's all I'm gonna say." I'm sure I should know what The Floaty Finger Of Marked Territory should mean in literal terms, but the only time I've even seen anyone do that near me, I find it usually means, "Hey, Dan? I don't know how, but you, like, have pen all over your forehead." Thanks for letting me know, Jen. That's a true friend for you. Then they make with the smacky kissing in the limo, because the music supervisor found some knock-off Mazzy Star sound-alike snippet on the cheap, and gosh darnit if they were going to let it go to waste. In an interview, Jen tells us, "I really want a rose at the next Rose Ceremony." Well, we'll just see what MASH has to say about that.