So, like, Kirsten? Is, like, totally nervous? About other girls in the house? "On this date," she tells us, she hopes that Andrew will "open up" and let her know where she stands. Kirsten pulls up at a gas station in a town car, because apparently Southern California is completely out of spas, and suddenly limos are only for Firestones and funeral processions. Did The Bachelor do a Trading Spaces thing with the budget of Elimidate Deluxe? Was that ever actually a show? Perhaps the cash money allocated for this segment all went to renting the enormous, gas guzzling, red-and-white- and-Keeping-The-Faith-video convertible Kirsten finds Andrew waiting for her in front of. Kirsten unemotionally tells us that Andrew looked "really cute" standing in front of the car, and she greets him with a hug and a "hey, you," leaving off the obvious "daddy-o" that would have been so appropriate at this juncture. Andrew tells us that it's "scary" that he already has such feelings for her, and we cut to the two of them sitting in the car (I guess this is what teenagers in The Time Of That Car called "parking"), Andrew exclaiming, "There's something, like, um, sort of in store for us." Yes, yes. That sounds like it'll be a real zoot suit riot, indeed. A non-good-cut later, Andrew and Kirsten are still in the car, celebrating the fact that they're "scientifically" a match. Science is all, "Hey, don't look at me. I also invented Tab. I'm fallible." Kirsten steers the conversation (though not the car, which won't be going anywhere, quite frankly, until Andrew carves two holes on the driver's seat floor and runs, Fred-Flinstone-style, down a really steep ramp to get the thing going again) toward talk of the house, warning him, "I think different people portray themselves differently in front of you than at the house." And some people walk up to a faux Roman column on the front lawn and are all, "You know, I really think you and I have a connection" before saying the same thing to a tree, a carton of milk, and anything else that promises to love it back unconditionally. You decide which is the lesser evil of the two.
Episode Report CardDjb: C- | 484 USERS: C+
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