Bachelor
Bachelor

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 480 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Bassmaster

Jay rides in the limo and thinks. He interviews that this could be a turning point in his life, and that he's interested to see what the women thought. Byron interviews that it will come down to a choice between city life and country life. They keep saying that. I wonder if a producer planted that line. Byron adds that he feels like he has a CONNECTION with a few of the women he met. I think that might be the first mention of the C-word.

The women line up on the stairs by the pool. Jay and Byron walk in and face them. Chris explains that there is a tray full of roses. The yellow ones represent a vote for Jay, and the white ones represent a vote for Byron. He gives each man an appropriately-colored boutonniere. The women will place a rose into a box, and whichever Bachelor receives more votes gets to stay. But first, Jay and Byron get to address the ladies. Jay goes first, and says that he's there for the possibility of finding the love of his life. He hopes they see the same possibility in him. Byron tells the women that they look beautiful, and that he's looking for a woman to spend the rest of his life with. Wow, that'll really sway the voters. Chris makes Jay and Byron turn around so that they can't see who votes for or against them. But now the ladies can't see the boutonnieres! What if they get confused? ["Oh, no, and so many of them are from Florida! This doesn't bode well. What if The Bachelor somehow ends up being Pat Buchanan?" -- Wing Chun]

The women come up one at a time to cast their votes. Leina votes for Jay. Obviously, they all vote, but we don't get to see whom most of them vote for. Elizabeth votes for Jay. Cheresse votes for Byron. Tanya votes for Jay. Wende votes for Byron. We didn't even get to see half the women walk up there! I demand more filler! Just kidding.

Chris grabs the box of roses and announces that the first man to get thirteen votes will be the next Bachelor. As Chris reaches into the box to grab a rose, it would be hilarious if the PA assigned to remove the thorns screwed up, and Chris got pricked by a thorn and then threw a hissyfit. After the usual reality-show pauses, Jay is ahead four to two. But with the next two, Byron ties it up. Then Byron pulls ahead! I don't know why I used an exclamation point there. It's not really that exciting. Byron ends up with seven roses to Jay's pitiful four. Byron is totally trying to sneak a peek inside the box to see how many roses he has. I respect that. Byron leads nine to seven. After each rose, Chris Harrison updates the score, for those of you who can't count. Byron ends up winning with thirteen roses to Jay's seven. I guess the remaining five roses don't count, although they were probably for Byron. Chris congratulates Byron and sends Jay on his way.

Bachelor

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