The Bassmaster

Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | Grade It Now!
The Bassmaster

Krysta (I think) holds court by the pool and says that she thinks, unlike Jay, that Byron has the potential to like all of them. I think her boobs have the potential to flop right out of her bikini top, and I'm surprised that I didn't see any pixilation. Cheresse interviews that some of the women are already starting to get competitive. Yeah, God forbid. I mean, it's only a competition. Krysta gets catty, and says that Kristie is forty-five (which the subtitle writers spell "fourty-five," which, come on). Krysta interviews that Kristie is older, and rough-looking. So you'd think she'd want Kristie there because it would mean less competition. Krysta tells the others that Kristie is gross, and might even be a man.

Byron gets ready to join the women. He totally gives himself the Blue Steel look in the mirror while he gets ready.

Jennifer interviews that Byron has the power at the Rose Ceremony, which is scary. Krysta critiques other people's outfits. Krysta interviews that she thinks she stacks up well against the competition, because she's "younger, hipper, and better-dressed." Um, no, no, and absolutely not, Miss Boobs Popping Out of Your Bikini Top.

The women gather for a cocktail party to mingle with Byron. Cheresse, who is apparently the narrator for the season, announces that they are all waiting for Byron to arrive. Kristin (wait, there's a Kristin, in addition to Krysta and Kristie? Good thing she's boring or this would get really confusing) says that the dynamic among the women will change, because things will get competitive and heated. Krysta interviews that there are no friends in the house. Krysta and Amy joke around, and Krysta fake-slaps Amy and calls her a bitch. They totally pretended that was serious on the promos! I call foul.

Byron rides in his limo to the house, and says that he's looking forward to really assessing the women. He struts into the house, and the women cheer. Cynthia interviews that Byron's entrance was like a cool breeze. Byron talks about how weird it is to have twenty-five beautiful women hanging on his every word. Tonya interviews that Byron cleans up well. Byron and the women do a toast. Byron interviews that the women who voted for Jay should be relaxed, because he's not basing his decision on that. Byron tells that to the women. Elizabeth interviews that she's impressed that Byron wanted a fresh start. Wait, why is Alma wearing glasses with her fancy evening dress? She looked sort of normal before, but now she looks like Velma from Scooby Doo. Fascinating. Byron cheeses that he thinks the evening will end with everything he's ever wanted. Andrea interviews that Byron spoke with conviction and pierced her heart. That sounds painful.

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