Bachelor
The Bassmaster

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The Bassmaster

Jennifer interviews that she's feeling like she won't get a rose due to lack of one-on-one time. Alma -- who is, like, transforming into supergeek with the bad hair and the glasses, and the slurring and the general weirdness -- says that there's not much time left to win Byron over. Andrea continues to hover on the edge of the room, but refrains from crying again. She interviews that she's waiting for her one-on-one time. Don't wait! Just take it! She is really creepy, with the stalking and whatnot. About ten other girls express that time is running out, and I wish time had already run out, because enough of this.

Krysta suggests that a group of women assembled near the pool talk trash about someone. Totally getting a zero in "Reading the Mood of the Room," Krysta continues to insist that they talk shit when absolutely no one is interested. Krysta starts to talk about how Kristie lives with her parents. Amy asks Krysta why she persists when no one else is interested. Krysta keeps trying and trying. Not one person responds. It's funny that Krysta is so against taking money from your parents, but has no problem with taking money from the man you're dating. Amy interviews that she got more and more annoyed with Krysta throughout the day. Krysta says she doesn't care what people think of her. One of the other ladies (whose name I totally wish I knew, because she's my new best friend) says to Krysta, "We're just trying to take you down a couple of notches." Awesome! Krysta admits that she's a materialistic bitch, and my new best friend asks, "So what's your point?" Is Krysta drunk? She is so misreading the room. Instead of coming off like a bitch, she's coming off like an idiot. Bitch, I can admire. Idiot...well, that's another story. The same group of women sits with Byron at a table, and Krysta totally makes fake-nice with them. Amy totally cracks up, like, "I can't believe how ridiculous you are!"

Jayne says that she's not into attention-grabbing, and that she doesn't know why some women get like that. Byron heads out for his destiny, a one-on-one with Andrea, who interviews that she has "nothing to lose at this point." She's totally going to murder him, isn't she? Andrea says that she's excited. She picks up a strawberry and comments how it looks like a heart. She starts crying and makes an analogy between her heart and the strawberry, and splits the berry open to demonstrate what happened to her heart when Byron walked in. It broke? Oh, she meant opening. Byron and Andrea feed each other the berry, and Byron is somehow not completely creeped out. Andrea interviews that she thought it went well. Yeah, for a serial killer! And if you didn't see Kelly Ripa totally ripping on Andrea on Live last week, you missed out. It was freaking hilarious.

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Bachelor

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