Bachelor
The Bassmaster

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The Bassmaster

Jay has the previously mentioned gray hair. He looks a little bit like Anderson Cooper, actually. ["Who, like Jay, is a Bachelor of the Confirmed variety, if you catch my drift." -- Wing Chun] Jay explains that he started a computer company, sold it, and then went into real estate, and that he's had success there as well. Jay is one of seven kids, from New Jersey, and his family includes two sets of twins. Jay's mom (who looks really good for having seven kids, even if it does only add up to five births) says that Jay did well for being one of seven. Jay went to prep school and had to learn to be independent. Uh oh. Sad music. Jay was twenty-five when his father died, and it made him yearn to live a long, healthy life by taking care of himself physically. Mike, Jay's brother, says that Jay's old, and that if he doesn't get married now, it'll never happen. Good to know that happens to guys, too. Jay's mom wants Jay to get married, too. Jay plays with his nieces and nephews (he loves kids!), and voice-overs that the next woman he brings home to his family is the woman he plans to marry. But...if he goes on the show, won't at least two of the women meet his family? Guess they didn't run that statement past Logistics. Ha! Like this show has a Logistics Department.

Chris returns and makes the men stare at the photographs of the contestants for, like, thirty seconds, and then reminds them that the contestants are arriving today, and have no idea that there are two Bachelors. Jay and Byron will remain sequestered in the pool house until the right moment for introductions. Byron interviews that Jay is the only thing that stands between him and twenty-five beautiful women. Jay interviews that he realized that Byron is his competitor. These guys aren't too swift, are they? They just now figured it out?

The women's flotilla of limousines pulls up, and they all screech and scream as they get out and approach the house. Hey, one of them got to bring her dog! Jay and Byron watch via camera as the women approach the mansion. Chris explains that all the women will be moving in today, which has never happened before. He tells them to settle in, and then head out to the pool for a party. The women hoot and holler some more as they stream into the mansion. It's not long before they are drinking margaritas and going "Woo!" The assimilation has begun.

And now it's time to Meet the Bachelorettes! Let's do it in list format, shall we?

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Bachelor

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