Bachelor
The Bassmaster

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The Bassmaster

Cheresse, age thirty-one, from St. Louis. Guys find her intimidating, but she's really sweet and sensitive, and she wants a guy to propose.
Cynthia, age thirty-seven, from California. She is "a little bit older" and "like a ripe fruit" waiting to be picked. She also has really bad roots, and you'd think she would have had a touch-up before going on the show.
Amanda, age twenty-seven, is from New York. She reminds me of Estella, with the long dark hair and slightly nasal voice. She's boring.
Carolyn, age thirty-six, is from Tulsa. She has Southern values, but she also has life experience. In other words, she can be both a lady and a whore.
Amy, age twenty-seven, is from San Diego. She calls it a "dating cesspool," because people aren't looking for commitment. She's also wearing an unexplained wrist brace.
Wende, age twenty-eight, is from Texas. She's also the sister of Kellyfrom The Amazing Race. She calls herself wild and jealous, so living with women will be difficult.
Lisa, age thirty-three, is from Florida. She is a romantic, who falls in love quickly.
Kristie, thirty-two, is from Windsor, Ontario. Canada, represent! ["Pfft, Windsor. That's basically just Detroit." -- Wing Chun] She owns a bar, so she hears a lot aboot relationship problems. She loves to sit and watch football all day. Can I marry her?
Andrea, age thirty-three, is from Denver. She already has the material to make her wedding dress. Creepy!
Nicole, age twenty-eight, is from Illinois. She is a headhunter, so she professionally steals people from their jobs. She hopes it will come in handy.
Kerry, age thirty-one, is from San Francisco. She travels as a nurse, and she wants someone to tie her down. Kinky!
Jayne, age thirty-seven, is from Key West, Florida. She's shy and doesn't get approached by men.
Krysta, age twenty-eight, is from Oklahoma. She won't settle for a cheap guy who won't pay for her dinners at fine restaurants. In Oklahoma.

Throughout this montage of women, Jay and Byron offer occasional commentary. Byron comments that Jayne is his favorite, and then he bumps fists with Jay, whatever that means. The women converse by the pool, and everyone is shocked at how old Jayne is. Oh, God. We're only halfway done with the introductions of the women. Strap in, folks! And now back to your regularly scheduled list:

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