Bachelor
The Bassmaster

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The Bassmaster

Leina, age twenty-eight, is from California. She wants to have four children, and feels pressure from her mom to provide grandchildren. She's ready to settle down.
Tanya, age thirty-one, is from Texas. As she's gotten older, dates have gotten more scarce. Yeah, she's ancient.
Elizabeth, age twenty-eight, is from Chicago. She wants a confident man who can provide strength, because she's a strong woman. I don't know.
Alma, age thirty-five, is from Oregon. She looks totally normal here, but wait until later. She's had terrible luck with reality shows in the past (she was on Single in the City).
Kristin, age twenty-seven, is from Florida. She's ready for marriage because she went to college, started a career, bought a house, got a dog, and marriage is the next thing on her checklist. And she must complete the checklist in the correct order!
Jennifer, age thirty-one, is from Seattle. She's a whore. Okay, she said she's been dating a lot. Same difference, right? She thinks her best feature is her lips. She fails to mention her giant fake breasts.
Abby, age twenty-nine, is from Las Vegas. She doesn't tell people that she's an acrobat, because men will ask inappropriate questions. She wants to be married before she's thirty. So she has less than a year. Of course, they do these things more quickly in Vegas.
Natalie, age thirty-four, is from Los Angeles. She has bad hair. It looks like a helmet. She loves romance and meaningful relationships.
Melinda, age thirty-nine, is from Nashville. She's never had to fight for love, but she thinks she'll step it up.
Susie, age thirty-two, is from Hollywood. She hasn't focused on her personal life much, but she's ready to do it now.
Ashley, age thirty-one, is from Santa Barbara. She's divorced, but it's amicable. She's ready to love again.
Kelly, age thirty-four, is from Beverly Hills. She's the one who brought her dog, a four-month-old French Bulldog. It's pretty cute, but that's rude.

Jay and Byron are amazed at how beautiful the women are. Byron interviews that it really, really, really makes him want to be The Bachelor, now that he's seen them in bikinis. Jay interviews that more than one has caught his eye, and that he hopes one of them will be his wife.

Kelly interviews that she thinks they'll hang out by the pool for a while and then get ready to meet The Bachelor. Krysta and some other women come out of the house and pretend they're going to drop-kick Kelly's dog into the pool. And if the dog is far enough away from her that they can say that without fear of reprisal, she's not keeping a close enough eye on it. Krysta interviews that The Bachelor will think Kelly's nuts for bringing her dog.

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Bachelor

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