Bachelor
The Bassmaster

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The Bassmaster

The women come up one at a time to cast their votes. Leina votes for Jay. Obviously, they all vote, but we don't get to see whom most of them vote for. Elizabeth votes for Jay. Cheresse votes for Byron. Tanya votes for Jay. Wende votes for Byron. We didn't even get to see half the women walk up there! I demand more filler! Just kidding.

Chris grabs the box of roses and announces that the first man to get thirteen votes will be the next Bachelor. As Chris reaches into the box to grab a rose, it would be hilarious if the PA assigned to remove the thorns screwed up, and Chris got pricked by a thorn and then threw a hissyfit. After the usual reality-show pauses, Jay is ahead four to two. But with the next two, Byron ties it up. Then Byron pulls ahead! I don't know why I used an exclamation point there. It's not really that exciting. Byron ends up with seven roses to Jay's pitiful four. Byron is totally trying to sneak a peek inside the box to see how many roses he has. I respect that. Byron leads nine to seven. After each rose, Chris Harrison updates the score, for those of you who can't count. Byron ends up winning with thirteen roses to Jay's seven. I guess the remaining five roses don't count, although they were probably for Byron. Chris congratulates Byron and sends Jay on his way.

Jay interviews that he's not used to losing, and tosses out that "different lifestyles" theory again. He says it's a consolation that some of the women were interested in him, but that it's still sad. Jay hops into his limo and takes off.

Byron goes to greet the women. He interviews that he came there to search for the woman of his dreams, and that it's great to know that the woman he'll spend the rest of his life with is right in front of him. Waiters bring out champagne, and everyone drinks and goes, "Woo!"

The next morning, Byron swims laps in the pool. He interviews that he's shocked and surprised that they chose him. He's anxious about the first Rose Ceremony tonight, and he hopes that he makes good decisions.

In the women's house, they eat breakfast. One of them wants to know who yelled, "Thank God!" when Byron won. Heh. That is pretty rude. Cheresse interviews that she's excited to get to know Byron. Jayne and Amanda reveal that they both voted for Byron. Jayne says that it was because of lifestyle, but Amanda thinks that Byron is just cuter. Another woman states that if Byron didn't win, she probably would have left.

Tanya says that she only chose Jay because they had a long talk, and that she hopes that if Byron finds out her vote, he's not offended. Tanya interviews that the women were talking about their votes, and she worries that Byron will use that against her. Another group of women has the voting discussion, and talk about whether or not they will tell Byron their vote if he asks. Elizabeth interviews that she voted for Jay, so now she wonders if Byron will try to meet them all, or make his judgments based on their votes. Cynthia interviews that the girls who voted for Byron are confident, and the girls who voted for Jay are nervous, especially if they're stupid enough to admit their vote. What happened to our season of honesty? It went right down the toilet as soon as the women showed up. Stupid deceitful women.

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Bachelor

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