Guiney Love shows up at Catty On A Hot Tin Roof, voicing over all the while that he'll be leaving momentarily on his second group date with Kristi Kute Cheeks, Estella (and, woe be it to the weight requirements of the plane, an enormous Pepsi machine that almost boots her out of the frame), Jen, Lindsay, and Misty. Hmmm. The middle date. The correct number of women. A Chris-free first date. My breath is held tightly, lest a sigh of resignation escape, hurtling that soda machine right on top of the one person I actually kind of like. A limo (in which, I guess, NOTHING happened) cruises them to a helicopter pad, and they soar over smoggy, not-that-interesting- from-the-air Los Angeles. One of the girls shows everyone else where her apartment is, and my crappy joke thunder ("I can see my house from here!") is stolen on the second group date even more egregiously than it was on the first ("Something about Rice-a-Roni!"). Her apartment gets a round of applause, and hundreds of thousands of square miles of sprawl below is all, "Thank you very much. I have so many people to thank." After the helicopter ride (on which, I guess, NOTHING else happened), we're off to the W Hotel. They have the whole pool to themselves, and Bob swims around by himself actually yelling "You go, girl!" as they strip off their wares and prepare to look good in a hot tub or a tub of any other kind. Misty is first into the pool with Bob, but...wait, she can't swim! I know this because of the sickeningly unsubtle way in which she swims right over to Bob and into his arms, as if she's jumped into some kind of shark-infested, I don't know, "dehumistyfier"? Estella tells us that Misty is "outgoing" in a bad way, and that she knows how to "grab a guy's attention," and we cut away before we splice in the end of Estella's sentence, which could have been taped at any point ever, talking about anyone at all: "She's my biggest competition." Over at the bar, Kristi Kute Cheeks makes a throaty cat noise at the sight of a robed Misty and Bob carrying their drinks into some kind of pool house. Lindsay worries that Misty is a "Size One," and tells us that's she's going to "stay away from her." Why, because Misty won't be visiting any of the West Coast's finer international airports in the next couple of hours? Oh, um, spoiler.
Dumber than a ventriloquist dummy at a Dumb Convention in the month of Dumbuary, Misty sits facing Bob on a couch, sipping a margarita with a dumbed rim, asking in her perkiest blond voice, "So who do you feel like right now you're gonna get rid of?" Bob flinches ever so slightly, so Misty makes sure to qualify, "I mean, if Chris shows up." Well, that makes this utter violation of tact and decorum acceptable, when she changes the question from "Who are going to get rid of the next time you have to boot someone?" to, well, "Who are going to get rid of the next time you have to boot someone?" The differences are subtle in that they are none. And Bob, for some reason, strikes me as the kind of guy who might have seen this show once or twice, so he should really know that the only appropriate answer is something in the "let's just live in the moment, baby" family. Instead, he actually gives the binding answer that she's looking for, clumsily volleying back, "I wouldn't want to get rid of you, I know that." Guiney Love then rears his giant alter ego head, and smacky kissing ensues. Misty tells us in confessional that she doesn't think she's getting booted at all. Few people know this, but the first sentence in Herman Melville's Mo-Bob Dick is actually "Call me Bob."