Bachelor
The Season 17 Finale

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It Seems Like There's A Hole In My Dreams

Harrison walks her the rest of the way, while Sean does his best to appear broken up about it, and his mom isn't there to tell him that if you truly have feelings that strong for someone, you are not at all ready to propose to someone ELSE.

And now Lindsay is whining in the car about how not fair this is, and how could he do this to her, etc., and she keeps ratcheting up her pitch to a frequency that humans can't actually hear. "I just want to grow old with somebody, and have a family, and I thought I had it, and now somebody else does," she whines. "I don't want to be alone," she says. Yeah, you know you're twenty-four, right, Lindsay? You have some time.

Harrison comes out to Proposal Point to briefly commiserate on how rough it was ON SEAN, and he gives Sean the mythic letter, which is from Catherine. There are shots of the studio audience laughing for some reason, even though we don't know what this letter says. And you can tell it's live because Harrison remarks on what a brutal breakup it was for Catherine, but in fairness to him I am constantly typing the wrong name when I do these recaps, although I guess in my defense it's late so I'm tired and angry and drunk. Anyway, the audience loved it when she took off her heels. "Let's hear it for Lindsay!" he says. Well, I'm sure she's cheered by the tepid applause.

Following yet another commercial break, it's time to find out what's up with the letter from Catherine. He reads it out loud and -- in a complete non-surprise -- it's not a breakup letter but a letter detailing what an awesome "man of God" Sean is and how they'll build a wonderful life together and that sort of thing. "I will love you forever if you let me. You have my heart. Always. Catherine." Noticeably absent from this version of Sean receiving the letter is him looking distraught and wondering, "How could she do this to me." Weird, I can't believe the show misled us like this!

Chris Harrison takes Catherine part of the way, and then she totters her way on over to Sean, who -- miracle of miracles! -- has managed to shake off the trauma of dumping Lindsay. He tells Catherine that she never ceases to amaze him, and he misses her every time they have to say goodbye. "I won't say goodbye anymore," he says. "Catherine, I want to spend the rest of my life telling you I love you and making you feel like the most special, beautiful woman in the world," he adds, and then gets down on one knee, shows her the ring and says, "Will you marry me?" She says yes immediately, and then he gets up and they embrace. "I love you so much," he says, and she can't believe this is real, which is a sentiment shared by roughly ninety-five per cent of the audience. She keeps telling him how handsome he looks. Oh, and then he gives her the final rose, which gets my eyes rolling, which continues as Catherine babbles about how grateful she is to have met him.

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