Bachelor
Bachelor

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: B | 1543 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Women Arrive in Sun Valley, Idaho

Matt's standing in the snow waiting for his little snow bunnies, being all "Yay, America, these ski resorts are totally as awesome as the ones I'm usually at in France. Don't hate me because I'm not from your country." Whatever, keep talking with that accent and I'll forgive you for pretty much anything.

Snowball fight! Everyone gets tossed in the show bank by Matt -- who is gung-ho about proving his manliness -- except Marshana, She runs away and then coyly lets him catch her, 'Cause playing hard to get ALWAYS works on these shows. Then Shayne's a talking head again, talking about snuggling up with Matt. "I love to cuddle. It's one of my favorite things." I knew she had more on her mind than showing off her ski skills.

An annoyed Robin looks more and more irritated as the girls discuss who is getting the one-on-one dates with Matt. Honey, try smiling, because if you are making that sourpuss face around him, I'm surprised you lasted this long. The infamous date box arrives on the doorstep and looks like...a sled. Kind of like tree mail. I get it now. Chelsea gets the first date with Matt. Now the other girls are all jealous.

Matt's mission is to get six down to four. Deep. Ooh, pretty horses. These big Clydesdales make me want a beer. Or maybe it is just that Chelsea's annoying voice would be more tolerable with a beer, or two. They discuss PDAs. Chelsea voices over that she hates holding hands and watching people hold hands. Then she calls Matt "buddy." He voices over that he needs someone affectionate. I'm thinking Chelsea is history...45 minutes from now. Oh god, it's not even close to over.

The next date goes to Amanda, Robin, Marshana, and Shayne, they are heading to the slopes. Meaning Noelle gets the remaining one-on-one date. Robin looks pissed. Again, she needs to stop with those ugly-ass faces. Perky Noelle diaries that she's super excited. Clearly. Marshana admits she's happy that Robin (now the only person who hasn't had a one-on-one date) didn't get it. I think I like divalicious Marshana.

Back to Matt's date with Chelsea. He insults her and tells her that he doesn't like her sense of humor. She looks horrified, until he reveals he's joking. He thinks they could be "best mates." Sounds like true love to me. Then there's talk about her wanting to be romantic and how he "completely digs her." Maybe she's not going home. She steps away from the date for a few minutes, steals some paper from the concierge and writes him a "fantasy suite" card. She "wants to get to know him in other ways." She totally invites herself back to his place. Slutty, but honest. And then she kisses him, despite her claim to hate public displays of affection. She does know that this airs on TV with millions of viewers, right? How much more public can you get?

Bachelor

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