Finally, it's time for Noelle's big date. Matt's hoping to discover a connection between them. I think that's code for lip-locking, but I'm not getting that vibe from Noelle. Wait, she was in a bad car crash? She really is just way too sweet for this show. Matt thinks she's philosophical and he could spend the rest of his life with her...then he starts kissing her. Naturally.
Back at the house, Robin is starting some shit with Marshana. Marshana thinks that Matt's sporty and likes his lifestyle. Robin pissily says that's not how he really roles. Marshana rightly calls Robin on being a condescending bitch. Chelsea chimes in that Marshana is a negative person. Now there's a full-on catfight (sadly minus the hair-pulling). Shayne and Amanda look uncomfortable and hide under their hats. Then Shayne tries to separate Marshana -- whose talking head informs us that she's "nice and loving" -- and Chelsea. Damn you, Shayne, it was just starting to get good.
Oblivious to the chaos, Noelle and Matt are brought back to a cozy room for a late-night snack. She tells him that she's only ever brought one person back to meet her parents, but that she'd love to bring him home. Then there's some cute little flirting and of course making out by the fireplace.
Announcer guy is telling me to stay tuned for the most dramatic rose ceremony yet. Can't wait. The suspense is just killing me. A clean-shaven Matt is back in the Bachelor house (wherever that is) and starts talking to the girls about their trip. Marshana is the first to dish on the big brouhaha. She's wearing a really low-cut sparkly shirt and sort of squeezing her breasts up in his face while telling him all about this. Then Chelsea interrupts and asks for some alone time. Marshana's bummed that she didn't get her kiss from Matt, who apparently gives good kisses. Well, he should since he gets a lot of practice.
Matt questions Chelsea about her romantic side and her hatred of PDAs. Her talking head says that she thought she showed him that (when they were hooking up at his place) but she guesses she didn't. Perhaps she didn't put out? And now...more kissing.
Marshana's back in the other room bitching that Chelsea interrupted her time. Shayne says that Marshana would have done the same thing. Now Marshana's pissed off at Shayne. Then Robin makes some annoyed comment and heads out for a few minutes alone with Matt. She wants Matt to kiss her and she "always gets what she wants." Their macking is right in full view of all the other girls. Shayne's annoyed from having to watch it. I'm pretty disgusted too, so I feel her pain.