Back at the house, another group date is announced, which will involve Elizabeth, Jessie, Kathryn, Ashley E. and Vienna. Michelle, Ella and Tenley are the ones not getting dates. Michelle seems genuinely confused, because she honestly seems to think she's the one Jake's looking for. "I'm just that nice girl that everybody hates," says Michelle. In the house, she runs off, presumably to boil a bunny.
Back at the dinner, Ali squeals after Jake offers her a rose, and then they stare at each other for a moment, and then they start kissing, and you have to think that Jake STILL tastes a little bit like Rozlyn. Jake tells us that he's saved the biggest surprise for last. "The band Chicago, a classic band, is going to play a private concert for Ali and I," Jake tells us. Saying "a classic band" sounds a lot like "I've been ordered to sound like I'm really excited to hear Chicago play" to me.
We're then forced to listen to not only Chicago but also to Ali pretending that not only has she heard of Chicago, she loves Chicago. And Chicago plays for what feels like forever, including "Saturday, In The Park" and "You're The Inspiration" and I defy Jake or Ali to identify one single member of that band. Come to that, I know Peter Cetera is the singer but I can't look at that band and honestly tell you that it's actually Chicago. Some of the band members are clearly younger than the band itself. They all have "you're paying us in cash, right?" looks on their faces. I think the producers could have saved some money and just hired a tribute band. "We're Springfield, a loving tribute to Chicago!"
So it's time for the next group date, Fortunately Jake has a "special plan" and he's excited that it's these five girls. I'd love to hear him be pissed about the group: "What a bunch of stiffs!"
So the group date is Six Flags, which has been closed for the day so these selfish assholes can have the place to themselves. "Daddy, can we go to Six Flags today?" "No, dear. It's closed so some bimbos can pretend to fall in love with a narcissistic pilot." Well, that makes sense. Ashley says the gates open and they all started running like five-year-olds. Yeah, the whole intense "look how much fun and outgoing we are" routine is getting old (see also: football game in ball gowns.
Back at the bachelorette pad, Michelle is packing her bags, saying that she's not getting any one on one time, so she's leaving. Christina is telling her not to, because she's enough of a dingbat to forget she's competing against crazy Michelle. There is some talking head with Michelle in which she's clearly been crying, and she's rotten to the bachelorettes who are encouraging to stay and give it another shot, including Rozlyn and Tenley. Rozlyn says maybe Jake already knows he wants to keep Michelle, and then she really oversells it by saying Jake told her exactly that. She's clearly lying, and Michelle may be crazy, but that doesn't mean she's dumb. She says if she were on a date with Jake she wouldn't be talking about any other women (true) and Rozlyn has a smirk on her face. Also true. Rozlyn's left speechless.