Bachelor

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Roz for Termination

Then he introduces "Hal" who's going to conduct a photo shoot with them. He's the fashion director with In Style magazine. Some of the women are thrilled, but that's because some of them are models and most of them are just here to be famous. Corrie calls In Style her "fashion bible." Christina would rather do a math test, even though she's quite cute herself. She's feeling "hivish" while Rozlyn thinks Jake is so cute that she wants to bite him, and Gia talks about how she usually models in swimsuits.

Rozlyn sounds exactly like that annoying Kristin Wiig character who always tries to one-up everyone as she casually mentions to another woman that she's been modeling for ten years. She gets in some tinfoil looking dress, and she works the camera so well that the photographer calls her "gorge" as in short for "gorgeous" and not "I can feel my gorge rising" then when Jake shows up she actually lifts her leg so high her cooter needs to be blacked out. Then there is another blonde woman getting her picture taken, and then there's Gia, and then Phylicia or Alicia or Valishia or whoever and then Cory or Corrie or whatever and I think there are just women off the street getting their pictures taken with him at this time, and the whole time we're getting shots of Christina looking like she's going to throw up, and she drinks the whole time and asks a staffer if she can make her "really skinny with really big boobs." The look on the dude's face is "yeah, I get that a lot." Someone tells Gia that she has "nice ta-tas." Sure, she can say it. But I tried that once, in school, and Sister Margaret did not take it as a compliment. Rozlyn makes some smart-ass comment about another woman wanting to clean something of the back of Jake's teeth with her tongue. When it's finally Christina's time, she's still really nervous, and Jake talking-heads about how he wanted to make her feel comfortable, and so he compliments the way her dress brings out her eyes like OH MY GOD HOW AMAZING IS JAKE, HE COMPLIMENTED HER EYES? The music gets all soft with a strummy guitar and all the women swoon.

And they kind of slow dance, and then we have a different Christina in a different dress in a talking-head talking about how Jake is awesome and cured feline AIDS in his spare time just by smiling at her with his safety- and security-inducing smile.

And then there's the group shot, which features Jake in the middle, with the women surrounding him pulling him apart. Rozlyn says the photo shoot was super exciting, but she's still focused on Jake, and she wants the rose. How big of her to not try to use her job as a prop in a Bachelor photo shoot as a step towards Hollywood domination!

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Bachelor

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