Jillian? "I'm not saying there wasn't any passion with Jillian, but there wasn't enough for a marriage," says Jason, and Chris brings up the hot tub sex scene and says "Cinemax called," and adds that he didn't watch it himself because he was too embarrassed. You hear that, Jason? You know you've hit a low when the host of The Bachelor is too embarrassed for something.
Then there was the tent date with Molly, with Chris demanding to know what happened in the tent, and then Jason is saying "whoa, easy, buddy!" and says they really only had three hours together, and Chris says "Three hours of sex is a lot!" and Jason insists it was really innocent, and Chris wants to put it in baseball terms, and Jason claims it was only first base.
Next up: "The great moments that people didn't get to see." There were "great moments"? Why didn't they show, you know, ANY of them? Well, there's Jason on a horse on his hometown date with Naomi, and the horse is all, "You are NOT putting me on The Motherfucking Bachelor," and spins around until Jason jumps off. And there's Jason golfing with Molly and losing, and the bet was that the loser had to take his or her pants off, and Jason lost and stripped down to his boxers, and unfortunately we don't see them getting chased off the course.
After yet another rehash of Ty's tantrum that forced Jason to stay up with Melissa. And then we go back to General Hospital for a "very Shakespearean" (so says Harrison) improv scene that -- well, obviously if it had been any good they'd have found room for it during that actual episode.
Oh, god, we're back to the date with Molly, where for some reason Jason wrote a rap and rapped it at her, or towards her, or whatever. "Your eyes are so amazing, when we talk it's like stargazing." I am as white a person as you will ever meet, but Jason makes me look like Biggie, for reals. "We know from The Bachelorette that you suck, why do it again?" asks Chris. Seriously! I -- oh, he just means rapping-wise, not in general-wise. "DJ Jay is done," says Jason.
Then there's Molly and Jason making out in a bathtub, and then the jets were making these gurgling noises? Was that really the jets, or was that you, asks Harrison. It was really the jets, says Jason. Fascinating.