Hey, Naomi, remember how your family was all crazy? Yeah, they were crazy. Correction. Amazing. Naomi has "huge wings" and wants to explore the world and Jason can't do that with her. Naomi says she thinks it just wasn't meant to be. You know what's really distracting? Lauren's boobs hanging out all over the place behind Naomi's head.

As for Stephanie? Lovely person, just didn't see them as husband and wife. Which is sad, since Stephanie was pretty much envisioning that from day one.

So now -- bloopers? That's it for the hot seat? "The hard part is over," says Harrison? What "hard part"? Anyway, bloopers: Naomi sniffs her pits. Melissa burps. Shannon sticks a ... grape? ... up her nose and asks people if she has a booger. Jillian requires a black bar over her chest during a rowdy game of chicken. Jason's horse doesn't like him, which we ALREADY SAW. The hot tub gurgles, which WE ALREADY SAW. Make this goddamn show an hour already and let everybody go to bed early!

So how's Ty doing, Harrison asks. He's great, he turned four. The audience applauds the fact that Jason procreated four years ago.

So now the big question, from Harrison: "Are you happy?" Jason says he is happy. Which means he's not engaged, right? I mean, if he were, Harrison would have said, "Are you engaged?" and Jason would have said, "Yes I am," right? It's a good thing we're not as stupid as this show thinks we are.

After Jason is let off easy, we get the extended montages of the two final contestants, Molly and Melissa. All recycled material, so I'm not recapping that. Well, OK. To sum up: Connection. Amazing. Spend the rest of my life with. Absolutely. Dream. That's about it.

Next week: it's the most joy-filled weecap ever.

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