Bachelor
Bachelor

Episode Report Card
Daniel: F | 331 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Bartha Barcy Ben Barlene

She tells Harrison that once she talked about Courtney to Ben, there was a negative element to their relationship that closed him off to her. She draws a lot of applause when she says she wouldn't want to be with someone who's falling for Courtney's bullshit. She's also not impressed with Ben's taking off his clothes while he was still dating like ten other women at the time (I guess everything's relative on this show, right?) and Blakeley can't resist pointing out that Courtney took her clothes off on television yet called her a stripper. Yay for Emily! She says Ben has made his bed and he can lie in it.

Next up, Nicki, who is called the "beautiful divorcée from Texas" like who even uses the word "divorcée" anymore? Nicki montage! It's hard not to like Nicki. She seems sincere and sweet and sparkly, all the more reason why you feel terrible for her pinning her hopes "for a second chance on love" on a schlub like Ben.

Once that's over with, she cops to being in love with Ben, and talks about all the cop-out language you use at first, like "en route to being on the way to falling in love" and now Harrison is asking if it was exciting to be able to say she was in love with him, like NO, HARRISON, PEOPLE HATE BEING IN LOVE, and blah blah blah, she's happy now, living in Dallas, and Harrison alludes to men in Texas probably wanting to bone her, which is the only thing that signifies a woman's worth on this show, so I guess that's a compliment.

Who's next? Oh god, Kacie B., with the primal scream limo ride. She sits down with Harrison, who talks about how everyone watching fell in love with her. Yeah, I liked Kacie too. Fortunately, her desperation in Switzerland cured me of all that. We watch the montage, and some dingus in the audience wipes away a tear. And now Kacie is talking about how she came into this being ready to love or whatever, and she was open to it, and she did fall in love. Yeah, everyone on this show always somehow manages to "fall in love" with the main attraction. Funny how that happens!

And then they talk about her coming to Switzerland and how she wanted to know why he dumped her and to warn him that he was maybe going to be making a wrong decision, and Harrison asks if part of her hoped he'd see the error of his ways and take her back. The answer to all of those issues, as always, is "Ben is an idiot." Harrison asks if she's open to love again -- valid question, given how much damage this show can do to people. And then the audience is applauding Kacie's hope that she'll someday find the man of her dreams.

Bachelor

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