This happens to be the segue for pulling Brunette Heather up to the hot seat so we can all replay the other crazy contestant's behavior. We get another clip show. Heather cringe-inducingly tells us all that she has this all "locked up." She has a "game plan" and she definitely wants a victory. This woman is so screwed up. I can't even begin to entangle the thought processes that would cause someone to behave this way. Personally, I think she's loopier than Christi. Christi will grudgingly admit that she's emotional. Heather's the one who made the comment in her initial interview about wanting "a big rock." Of course, if she had snagged Aaron, she would have gotten two. During the first evening, Heather worries that all the women are really pretty, so she has a lot of competition.
Next, they show some previously unseen clips of Heather cooking for all the women. She cooks quite a bit. She tells us that she's thinking that if the other women keep eating her food, then they may not fit into their fancy dresses anymore. You'd think a beauty queen like herself would be familiar with the slimming magic of bulimia. In the kitchen, Frances jokes that Heather's going to make them all fat. Heather jokes that this is, indeed, her strategy. They repeat Heather's quotes about how this is kind of like a pageant for her, but instead of fighting for a crown, she's fighting for a man. Frightening. The women all toast Heather for cooking for them. Heather jokes that they were still able to get into their dresses that week, so her plan didn't work.
Heather tells us all that she thrives on competition, as we cut to her embarrassingly awkward spa date with Aaron. They replay Heather throwing herself at an uninterested Aaron. They replay Aaron telling us that he didn't see any chemistry with her. We get the picture-in-picture of tonight's Heather, who has this sort of tight-lipped mild grimace, like she's trying not to react to this. They replay that lengthy speech from Heather about seeing the house and the kids and the careers with Aaron. They did a hysterical parody of that very speech on Saturday Night Live, where Rachel Dratch extended it to include Aaron beginning to work late at night and running off to have an affair. Aaron tells us again that they didn't have any chemistry. Heather cries and tells us that she'll be okay, eventually. Once she pops a few percosets and washes them down with tequila.













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