Bachelor
"The Women Tell All"

Episode Report Card
Daniel: D | Grade It Now!
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Sweet as Sugar? Or Swedish Hooker?

"Matt is clearly one of our best bachelors ever," says Chris, at which point I vomit all over my keyboard and I miss the next five minutes or so whilst cleaning it up. Anyway, Amanda's next up to rehash her part of this whole sorry affair. I like Amanda, I think Matt's an idiot for sending her home, and I give her an A-plus for calling Matt a douchebag last week (thankfully, that's in the highlight package). Amanda watches the clips, looking like she swallowed a bug. Given that she admitted to seeing herself as "Amanda Grant," I can understand why she still feels wounded. We watch the rose ceremony in which she gets shafted and tells him off. She's even prettier when she's pissed. I dig it.

Afterwards, she tells Chris the clips were hard to watch, because she felt like coming on this special would provide some answers, and instead she's even more confused. "You still seem hurt by this," says Chris, and Amanda wants to know why Matt never voiced any concerns he had about her, like he did with some of the other women. She actually thought it was a prank at first (when he let her go), and that he was getting her back for the hometown prank (Matt refers to this as "one of the greatest moments in Bachelor history," for which I assume there's just tons of competition).

But because things are getting too honest and serious, Chris kicks it to a clips package of Amanda getting her hiccups -- also known as the "meeps," for the sound she makes. This gets even more hilarious every time it's emphasized! Anyway, Chris promises the women will get some answers, because Matt Grant -- yes, the Matt Grant! What a lucky break he was available! -- will be sitting in the hot seat when they come back.

Sure enough, here comes Matt, his hair shorn to a quarter-inch buzz cut. Chris asks him "What's up with the hair? I like it," and says "David Beckham," and Matt thankfully ignores all of this, to talk about how nervous he was backstage, and then lies that the rejection aspect of the show was the hardest part, so it's nice to see that he's still doing his best to say whatever he thinks will make the women less mad at him.

As far as Amanda, he says with her it was always the word "like" being used, whereas with Chelsea and Shayne, the word "love" was being used (he says "Chelsea" first, pauses, and then adds "Shayne." Inadvertent spoiler? Or is he throwing people off the scent?). I find that interesting, because you cannot convince me that a bachelor on this show has any concept, based on this competition, what love actually is. Amanda says she wasn't at the "love" point yet (more points for Amanda) and Matt comes right out and says he just felt he had more of a chance finding true love with either Chelsea or Shayne.

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Bachelor

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