Bachelor
This Is Getting Old

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Mary, Mary, Why Ya Buggin'?

Kelly Jo, will you accept this rose? Dude, I've gone on business trips just for a free trip home also. Smoothly turned.

Mary, will you accept this rose? Renew your passports, folks. We're going south of the Border, down Mexico way!

Estella, will you accept this rose? Crap, he totally got her confused with Meredith again, didn't he?

Shut up, Chris

Meredith, will you accept this rose? Nana would be so proud! But it would pass after ten or fifteen minutes or so.

I can't stop doing that.

Brooke cries and cries, hugging Bob and leaving graciously. She tells us she'll walk away regretting that she didn't tell him how interested she was in him. We'll regret not having the chance to tell her that it wouldn't make a damn bit of difference if she had.

And then! Fireworks! Drama! Wild, spiteful, howling cries! Right?

Or no. Lee-Ann takes it like a lady, giving Bob a hug and telling him it was nice meeting him. She tells us -- without a tear, mind you -- "I don't know what happened...If one of the girls told Bob something bad about me and he listened to it...then, yuck. Grow up. Grow a freakin' spine and make your own decisions." She adds that she was a "great catch," and that she wishes they had ended up together. Well, we've all wished a lot of things that didn't come true. But seriously, Bob? Look, dude, if you didn't want to play that game of Horse, all you freakin' had to do was say so.

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Bachelor

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