Bachelor
Three Women Are Eliminated

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Three Women Are Eliminated

Back at the penthouse, Matt and Holly are having beers and steak. "I find you, like, extremely attractive," he tells her, and asks if she sees in him what she wants in a future husband. You'll never believe this, but she says yes. Matt says he's concerned that they're almost too comfortable with each other, whatever that's supposed to mean. He explains that it might mean there's no electricity between them.

Back at the penthouse, a knock on the door lets the women know that someone's dropped off the hardened cement with the handprints and "Matt + Holly" scratched in it, and the women react like there's a corpse on the doorstep.

Back at the penthouse, Holly and Matt get cozy in the hot tub. Matt's got his arm around her, and reels her in for some kissing. "It just completely broke the ice," he says in a talking-head. I always break the ice by sucking face with someone. Works great. Holly gets her rose, and Matt voices over something inane about being with a "hot girl in a hot tub," and it's hard to believe that I made it three episodes in before using the word "wanker," but here we are.

So the group-dating women arrive at a field in shorts and rugby shirts, and Matt's going to teach them how to play, along with a woman named "Jax." In a talking-head, Ashlee says she doesn't like American football or British football, or any of that (bleep). I'm sure she'd tell Matt that to his face. Not that he'd pay any attention to her face, what with the short-shorts she's wearing. Matt's impressed with how Robin plays rugby. Amanda also says he gave her lots of help.

Back at the mansion, Holly and Shayne talk about Shayne's upcoming date, with Shayne moaning about how she needs to tan. Holly brought a spray tanner, which I assumed meant a little bottle. Instead, there's something the size of an emergency electricity generator. Holly applies it to Shayne's already decently orange skin, and we even need some black bars to cover up Shayne's business.

The rugby dingbats then choose up sides with Ashlee getting picked last (due to her fake eyelashes, according to Chelsea). I would think it's confusing because they're all wearing the same shirts, but I think this is more about women wrestling in the mud than following any rugby rulebook.

Marshana gets hit in the face, and stumbles away, and gets no sympathy from the other women, who figure it's a plot for one-on-one time for Matt. Then they pretend to feel bad when they find out Marshana actually got a busted lip. More rugby, with Jax announcing that the winner is Team Gangsta, and I think those women should be sent home right now for that stupid name. Matt leads a round of applause for Marshana, and then he says the women outshone all the expectations he had, and they're going back to his place for a party.

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Bachelor

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