So here we are, defiling Saint Lucia with this stupid show. Jake calls it "the perfect place to fall in love," which he'd say no matter where they were. A Pittsburgh industrial park is the perfect place to fall in love! The searing torment of eternal hellfire is the perfect place to fall in love!
Jake says he's falling in love with all the three women for different reasons, but never says the word "boobs" once, so you know he's lying. He tells us that Gia is so much different from his first impression. He could tell she was holding back about past relationships, and it turns out her last boyfriend was a cheating gangster or something. "Gia and I's chemistry is just electric," Jake tells us, in the return of the most mystifying and grating grammar error this show has ever inflicted on the world.
With Tenley, Jake wondered if she was too good to be true, and I guess the unspoken sentiment here is that her divorce is a strike against her. But it's a good thing he doesn't hold it against her! Jake says she's got a heart of gold, which I hope doesn't ruin Neil Young for me.
Jake talks about how Vienna was as bold as she could possibly be, like when they met for the first time and she wanted to see his abs. Then he talks about how he cried like a little baby when they went bungee jumping, and she was just a rock. And then he talks about how she's always been the centre of the drama. "But our connection is undeniable," he says, but he doesn't care what anybody else thinks. Then he says she may be a little "immature" like WHO SAYS THAT ABOUT HIS GIRLFRIEND MUCH LESS FUTURE WIFE and then he says if they got married they could mature together.
And then he wonders about Ali, how she's doing, so good luck that there happen to STILL BE CAMERAS with Ali as she wakes up in the morning, not that this show is STAGED or anything, and she talks about how she's more anxious than she's ever been, and that she can't concentrate on her job since she's been back. Well, can you blame her? After all, she gave up being one of four girlfriends for her job! Who in their right mind would have done the same thing?
"Every day that I'm away from him, my heart breaks just a little more," she says. So she's decided to fight for him, and tell him how she feels, so now would be a good time for everyone watching to make sure they're stocked up on Gravol.
Pigeon Island, Saint Lucia. Jake's got a date with Gia, and he can't wait to see her. Is it because he respects her career, her intelligence, her tastes in books and film? No, it's because she's going to look "absolutely gorgeous." He's still blathering about her holding something back, so I can't wait for them to talk about it endlessly and painfully. Gia, meanwhile, is excited at the prospect of falling in love again.