Chris points out that there is a "downside" to this afternoon. Bob says that the woman he has to let down loves him, "and has told me this." And, natch. Is that where any remaining naysayers got on board the U.S.S. Not Fooled Anymore By Trick Editing? Chris outlines the fact that the women will arrive one by one, and that they haven't seen each other this week: "Both of them are coming here today, probably expecting a proposal." Well, at least in that respect they'll still have something in common at the end of the episode. Chris leaves Bob to watch his final video messages, in which Kelly Jo tells Bob, "You have my heart forever, so take it." Which is a slightly more poised, if vaguely Céline-Dion-ish, sentiment than Estella's "Um, wow." Um, yeah. Pretty much. Oh, and she says something about their "journey" together, so if anyone guessed "two," you can pick up your toys and go.
Bob stands at The Sacrificial Altar Of Noncommittal Love, outside against an oceanfront backdrop. The first limo pulls up to the front of the house, and with no further -- no, never mind. It's rounding the driveway. Okay, now here we -- la la la la lee lee loo. Still waiting. It's cool. We'll just go into the third hour, if need be. We are in your hands.
Kelly Jo. Kelly Jo gets out. Kelly Jo is the loser.
Kelly Jo tells us that this is "the most anticipated day" of her life, and reminds us that we all used to think that if you felt something for someone hard enough, they'd eventually start feeling it for you as well. Well, you've got to learn it one day, so why not learn it right now on national television, am I right? Because it's simply isn't true. She approaches the altar and stares into the void. She's wearing a red dress with some kind of bar that goes right across the chest area. She practically runs up to Bob, telling him how nervous she is. He wastes no time. He must tell her what he's feeling. He is distracted not even by a tiny Mary Lou Retton doing numerous jumps and flips on the jungle gym Kelly Jo has had inexplicably installed on her torso. So, right, Bob. Let's get this over with: "As much as I care for you, at this point I don't know that we're meant to be together. It kills me to have to say that to you." Kelly Jo is frozen. He asks if she's all right, and she pulls her hands away and says, not entirely unspitefully, "No, not at all." She pauses a second and whispers, "This sucks." It's true. It does. For Bob, mostly. He's still trying to do his "But I'm still a good guy, right?" soft-talk Bachelor voice, but Kelly Jo cuts him off, saying, "I understand." Bob takes her hand and walks her out, still caressing her oddly at certain inopportune moments. Like the moment when he told her that he doesn't want to see her ever again. In front of the limo, Bob kisses Kelly Jo (oh, puh-leeze!) one more time, and she basically puts her foot down and just gets the hell out of there. In the car, Kelly Jo's a champ. A little sad, but mostly that's pride fucking with her. Fuck pride. It only hurts. It never helps. Kelly Jo tells us that her "heart is broken," and that she is "walking away with nothing." She also expresses that she's feeling anger, which I think is an excellent thing to recognize. Because Bob's a jerk, is why.