Bachelor
Bachelor

Episode Report Card
Shack: C- | 565 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
He Did It All for the Nookie

Finally, Aaron brings Brooke in. Brooke tells him that she's scared. Aaron asks if she has any last-minute doubts or questions. Brooke insists that she has no doubts. Brooke's practically crying already. She says, "I'm concerned that you might make a mistake, and we'll both pay for it." Aaron points out that those are bold words. Aaron blathers on about how it's all so hard for him. Brooke enables his delusions by agreeing with him. He doesn't even ask her how she'd react if she didn't get a rose. She tells him that she's been a nervous wreck all day. Well, I guess even somebody as dumb as Aaron knows what's going to happen if he rejects Brooke.

More commercials. God. When we return, we're finally getting to the damned rose ceremony already. The blossoms have withered off the stems by now. The CGI rendition of Chris Harrison comes out to explain that there are two roses. Three women. Two roses. Not three. Not one. Not four. Two. He escorts Aaron out. See 'N Say Aaron blathers that he didn't realize how hard this would all be, and tells them they're all great and wonderful and blah blah blah.

Deep cough-breath. The first rose goes to Helene. She accepts. The captioning helpfully informs the deaf viewers that "[suspenseful music continues]." After about five hours, Aaron offers the second rose to Brooke. She accepts. Meltdown averted. This week anyway. So Gwen and her forehead are out...until she can find another reality dating show to take part in. She hugs the other women goodbye and then heads outside with Aaron.

As Aaron leads Gwen out, he snorts like a bull fifteen times and says that he knows Gwen deserves "a compelling explanation." Oh, I think everybody has given up on getting a compelling explanation of anything from you, Aaron. Gwen wants to sit down to talk to Aaron, which causes a minor crisis, because there's nowhere to sit down outside. Eventually, they wander back down to some outdoor bench, cameramen in tow. Aaron tells Gwen that he's still not sure he made the right decision. He makes it all about him by saying he feels like he's breaking up with somebody he's been dating for years. But she doesn't have a smokin' body that looks good in a hot tub, so out she goes. Gwen says she just wants to know what's going through Aaron's head (Helene and Brooke and a three-way), and why he didn't think he and Gwen belonged together. He blathers on that he had a lot of fun, but that he doesn't know how to explain "love." She asks if he's in love. He gives one of his bull-snort sighs and then slowly nods his head. So now we all know that he's been pretty much full of shit during all of tonight's show. Unless he fell in love based on those five-minute conversations, which I doubt. Though he is that dull; I wouldn't be surprised. Gwen says that whomever Aaron has fallen in love with is a lucky girl. She tears up a little bit. Not much. Just a little.

Bachelor

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