Oh, and Audree finds the third date box. Blah blah blah Kirsten, blah blah blah one-on-one date. The room goes eerily silent. Lord Lunkhead helpfully observes, "There was enough tension in the room that you could have cut it with a knife." Wow, Kevin. Is that yours? Because I have Bartlett's Quotations on line one asking if they can edit it down and print it, if it's all the same to you. Moron.
Oh, look! We're belly-dancing! Christina shakes it with all the moves as the gold-clad waitresses (the poor dears) put the three girls between them one-by-one for Pharaoh Andrew's edification. He responds to this shameful moment of Mesopotamian objectification by putting a napkin on his head and clapping like a loon. Watch out there isn't a big ol' chunk of discarded lamb in there, you patriarchal butcher. Ugh. Gallantry is so other white meat. Anyway, Christina shakes her moves with no problems, and Ann-Michelle dances like I imagine she would to any musical genre from this-totally-cool-band-my-one-friend-is-in to I'm-on-the-list-for-this-other-really-cool-band. Liz, meanwhile, cannot get down with the exotic flair of it. She looks like Fred Willard in that scene in Waiting for Guffman where he's dancing around with the bandanna and keeps almost dirty dancing with Eugene Levy, only to turn away at the last second, like, five times in a row.
Back at what Andrew calls "my place" (the whole world is "your place," isn't it, Andy?), he sits outside with Liz, who tells him that he is, among other things, "so cool" and "so fun," but she tells him that she's not going to constantly get in his way trying to seek his approval. Andrew tells us that Liz "has a lot to say," in a way that I don't know if that's a good thing or not. But what is good is…hot tub! Woo hoo! I swear, L.A. is going to have to institute some kind of Great Bubble Embargo or risk some kind of shortage. Stay on land, people. It's where the money doesn't get all wet. They clink glasses in the hot tub before Christina and Andrew retire inside and sit on the couch. They both look like they're completely naked. And, I mean, wet couch. Yuck. Christina shares with Andrew that she feels the mysterious "connection," but that she doesn’t want to "play the fool." Apparently someone has failed to hear the song discussing the fate of "everybody." What she wants, mainly, is to kiss him, she tells us, because "that will definitely tell [her] if there is a physical connection." They kiss. Then Andrew and Ann-Michelle kiss. Immediately, Christina is mad. She follows him into the house and asks, "Why did you kiss me today, if you kissed everybody else?" He's cornered. He somehow manages to formulate the sentence, "I wanted to" and "I thought you wanted to" into one very impressive sentence that those "Rrrrrrn wanted to." He tells us, on the other hand, "That's sort of why I'm here, and why they're here. I don't think I could feel comfortable keeping any of the ladies around for another rose unless I felt that they felt romantic feelings towards me." Yup. Physical intimacy never lies.