The Best And Worst Reward Ever

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 1 USERS: A
I Double-Dog Boot You

Previously on The Stomping Of Asses That Lag, And Other Fantasies: James threatened to mess with any Ulongians who failed to perform to their fullest potential, be all they could be, climb every mountain, never walk alone, and move that rubber-tree plant. The selection of leaders for what turned out to be a potty-building challenge revealed the first signs of tension at Koror, where Coby really didn't think it was fair for other people to like each other more than they liked him, because it's really not polite to play card games in the dorm lounge that not everyone can join in on, so instead of bridge, couldn't you guys play Go Fish? (Sorry. Flashback. That did really happen, though. Oh, Oberlin.) Ulong, on the other hand, could barely bring itself to choose a "leader" without gagging on the inappropriateness of the term in the context of their actual team, but they eventually wound up under the drawling thumb of James. Angie's swimsuit continued to struggle for fundamental viability and appeared to be no match for the elements. Koror's bathroom ultimately reigned supreme, and the construction department built them a new shelter as a reward. At the Sumo-rrific immunity challenge, the women of Ulong tried to keep the tribe in the game, but it wasn't happening, because boys are dumb, and they wound up -- despite Angie's anguished hollers -- heading back to tribal council. Again. There, the least suspenseful booting of all time occurred when Kim, barely able to remain in the tribe the previous week in spite of the presence of an injured guy who actively wanted to leave, was finally snuffed. Oh, and James took to dressing like Jesus. At least each person will only have to deny him once. Fourteen are left. Who will go home next?

We open at Koror on Night 11, where the new story, accompanied by doodly piano music, is that Gregg and Anonymous Jen are snuggling off in the corner. She giggles. A lot. Oh, man. And she giggles in that high-pitched "huh-huh-huh" way, too. If you were a seventeen-year-old very pretty girl who happened to be a good comedic actress, you would obtain praise in your first supporting role for being inventive enough to come up with that very laugh and brave enough to subject audiences to it. I can kind of see why they didn't show her talking before now, because I wouldn't have relished hearing that voice week in and week out. It would have made an appropriate accompaniment to Wanda's singing. ["I'm so glad you commented on this, because that's the kind of laugh where, even if Jen were the coolest person in the world, we couldn't be friends because the laugh would make me want to murder her." -- Wing Chun] At any rate, the ever-sharp Coby says in an interview that Gregg and Jen have "teamed off." Is that...a euphemism? A lack of clue? Both? Because..."teamed off"? At any rate, Coby's airtight evidence that they've "teamed off" is that Anonymous Jen "had her hand on Gregg's stomach." I don't even think I needed that part after all the breathless giggling. Anyway, Coby says that Gregg and Anonymous Jen must think the tribe is stupid if they think no one knows they're "together."

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