The Big C

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Emily Dickinson Lied

Tears in earnest now, embarrassed by hope. Begging him to let her finish. Begging him to let her hope.

"Now, I know it is... Probably a sucker's bet. But it's something. It's something."

He begged her to hope, to try, before anybody else even knew. She was his first, but he's her first too. And when he looks in her eyes, he doesn't see his first and he doesn't see her shame and he doesn't see her fear and he doesn't see her embarrassment. He barely even sees her hope. What Dr. Todd sees, today, in his office, is a brand new woman and all the women he knew before today: His marriage counselor and his househunting partner, the rescuer of lobsters. Amanda Montgomery, who is taking up cooking. The philanthropist. He doesn't say anything, but she fills in the blanks, defensive and begging at once.

"I used to be an optimist. I want to be that again."

Ashamed, finally, that she said no to treatment. Embarrassed, when she got so angry about the first clinical trial. She's the strongest woman he's ever met. So strong she could break. He asks her what he's supposed to say.

"I want you to say: Go for it. Good luck! I hope you win!"

He does. He shakes his head and says it, but he's not saying what she wants him to say. He's saying what he means: He hopes she'll win. He's never wanted anything more.

They breathe out. They breathe, in. And they keep breathing.

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The Big C




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