The Big C

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 1507 USERS: B
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Consider the Lobster

"I wanted to do something impulsive. Do you understand? This is the first major purchase that I have made without consulting Consumer Reports for three months beforehand, and then agonizing that I'd made a mistake for three months afterwards."

He doesn't hear a word. She winds down. But wait, though. Wild-eyed, and sweating. "Wait a minute, why are you here? In my neighborhood? You've never recycled my recyclables. Did you come here to see me?" She beams; she readjusts her tone from joy to a sardonic tease, so he won't turn on her: "Are you in need of a sis fix?"

He did. He was. "So fucking sue me." She caresses his face, pulling him down toward her in the leather bucket seat, overjoyed -- that crystal may be working, healing their broken relationship -- and he screams, almost in pain. No, in literal pain. An infected tooth. He jumps back. Cathy hates this, as much as she loves to be shocked she hates it when your love hurts someone else. When you give them a hug and they squeal in pain.

She leans, she wallows, she tries every angle of her new carseats, looking up at him. Grateful to be giving. "Go to my dentist, I'll pay for it!" Overjoyed. Appointments, ledgers, excitement. "You should smell what I taste," Sean says, swabbing his tooth with one finger and waving it in her face. Definitely infected, then. Cathy mentions the girlfriend, Daphne, who surely cares for his health and surely doesn't want to taste what he tastes, but Daphne is gone.

"She got all weepy on me and wanted to be exclusive. But it's cool. It's cool. Got a couple other fish on the line I'm just not ready to throw back."

Cathy rolls her eyes. "I'm not gonna suddenly buy into the system because I'm experiencing some minor discomfort. When the illegal immigrant who has to choose between a trip to the doctor and feeding her kids can go, I'll think about it." She cracks up halfway through and continues on laughing. "Still scared of the dentist, huh?"

Sean, cutely, growls and fusses with the recycling. "I'm not scared, Cathy, I'm righteous and indignant." He knows she's right; she knows he's kidding. "Step away from the car. You let me enjoy my frivolous purchase." He cocks his head, memory of an old life: "I didn't know you knew how to drive a stick." She looks down. Shit.

The Big C

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