Biggest Loser
A 24-Hour Fitness Relay Race Brings Winning Team 24 Hours of Luxury

Episode Report Card
Potes: A | 4 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
(Eat Your) Face/Off

Oh, and she's REALLY going to kill them because they're doing double tequila shots! That's 200 calories of fun. A very dramatic caption tells us that the Black Team has in total consumed 12,952 calories...so far. Because oh shit, they head to the bar. And then it's all Fatties Gone Wild! Helen decides this is a good time to have a cigarette, and Sione dives into some chicken tenders and French fries. He interviews that he can eat a whole pound of chicken tenders and still beat Kristin. He busts out this rhyme: She's messing with Filipe fast and furious, knock you so hard you be delirious, when you wake up unconscious you'll realize I was serious. Yep, still drunk. The camera mercifully does not show us the moment when Helen decides to make a man of Mike. We do learn, however, that over the course of the evening the Black Team has consumed a whopping 15,563 calories. And the Blue Team? 1,612. I wonder if they will haul Jillian off in handcuffs after the mass murder that's about to ensue.

It is day six. The drunkerstein full-bellied Black Team has a bit of a difficult time waking up. Sione wonders if winning the challenge wasn't such a good thing after all. Tara feels some regret. It does bring about shame to wake up and see a fried chicken leg on the pillow next to you. They head back to the ranch where delicious Subway sandwiches await them. Jillian enters with a bad feeling. She tells them to talk. Everyone has mad a secrecy pact. Filipe tells Jillian that they had 24 hours of luxury, including a massage, mani-pedi, and lunch and dinner. Jillian asks if they drank. Dude, I am having so many flashbacks of coming home late in high school to the specter of my mom sitting on the couch in the dark. Helen finally buckles and admits that she drank. Tara says that she had a shot of tequila, and Jillian quite angrily imparts that she knows Tara's use of the singular is bunk. Did these fools forget that there were cameras on them the whole time? Jillian then asks about smoking. Helen confesses. Jillian is not happy. Sione interviews that he's never seen her this pissed, and that's something. There is censor beeping a-plenty. The guilty ones try telling Jillian that they did well with the food, but she knows that's not true and is extra pissed that they're not even copping to it.

Jillian tells her team that they're adults and make these choices, then asks what the fuck she's there for. She continues, "Why am I gonna care, if you don't care?" She wonders in an interview why she's trying so hard to help her team members when they're clearly such punks. Tara tells her that they thought that it would be better to go crazy while they were still on the show than at home. Jillian freaks out at their stupidity. She adds that half of her team doesn't trust her because of their previous relationship with Bob, and she doesn't know what to do to help them. She lays awake at night, she says, and people tell her to just forget it and fake it. But she's not a faker, and says that she either loves you or doesn't, and either gets along with you or doesn't. She says, "If you would teach me how to fake it, I would love that." Okay, now she's just getting weird. She asks what else she can do for her team, then says that she's just going to try to get to the end of this god damn season. Girl, you're telling me. Come over to my place for a healthy dinner and then both of us can enjoy a full evening of not faking it. She tells Helen to go smoke until she dies in an iron lung. Well, then. These fuckers have broken Jillian, or at least brought out one of the most potent 'roid rages we've seen from her thus far.

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Biggest Loser

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