Biggest Loser

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Return of the (Big) Mac

Previously: John McCain was the biggest loser. Woot woot!

It is night, and the contestants return from the elimination ceremony. Renee reminds us that Phillip was eliminated. Michelle tells us that their team knew all week that Phil had the desire not necessarily to go home, but to be with Amy again. And I have to take this moment to give a shout-out to Amy P., who is a recap reader and sent me the nicest email. If I were Phil I'd want to go back home and hang out with her, too. I received no such lovely email from Heba, who was probably too busy walking upon a river of Crystal Light to show her appreciation. In any case, Michelle tells us that even though they're sad that Phil is gone, he's still on the journey and that's the most important thing.

The Blue Team greets the Black Team and Heba asks how they're doing. They all agree that the elimination was very hard. Coleen says with admiration that Phil loves his wife so much, and it's unbelievable. We cut to Brady, who continues to look kind of like a douche. I'm surprised the cameras didn't catch him picking his teeth with his wedding ring to underscore the point. Michelle says that Phil was a great teammate and took his elimination really well. She adds that she's excited to see how his family will be different because of it. And then out of nowhere Brady and Vicky totally start chuckling. Vicky says, "It's a win-win-win-win situation," and cackles some more. Even the mild-mannered Coleen gets pissed off at this display of rudeness. Vicky interviews that she was so happy that Phil was eliminated, and adds that it took her seven weeks to get rid of that sleaze bucket. From the looks of her, Vicky bathes in a sleaze bucket so I don't know why she's so judgey. Michelle is not surprised when the Blue Team does tacky things, because they are, in fact, tacky to the bone. Vicky and Heba continue to cackle in glee and then Vicky even does the air ass-slapping dance because evil makes her horny. The Black Team just exits the room. Michelle interviews that she'd like to see the entire Blue Team go home next. It's kind of sad that Amy C. has to be lumped in with those jerks.

In the morning Bob meets up with the Blue Team, who gleefully tell him that Phil's gone. Vicky interviews that Phil is a weasel and does not need to be the biggest loser because he'd be a horrible role model for America. Phil could totally rob the Extra Sugar Free Gum truck at gunpoint on the side of the highway and he'd still have seventeen times the integrity of these bitches. Lord. Vicky says that they want all Blue Team members in the final four, and are ready to pick off the Black Team one by one. Bob reminds us that Vicky is the biggest game player who's ever walked in the house. He calls her methodical and maniacal, and says she is sitting there with her little puppets on a string. Frankly, I think Bob gives Vicky too much credit by implying that she's somehow intelligent. She and Brady are for sure at about 60% on the evolutionary chain.

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Biggest Loser




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