Biggest Loser

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Contestants Face Barbecue Temptation And Giant Seesaw Challenge!

Previously: Ten couples -- nine of whom had all sorts of emotional baggage because of their preexisting relationships, and one of whom was comprised of happy-feeling strangers -- prepared to lose some poundage. With the teams of two playing only for themselves, the father/daughter team of Jenni and Lynn got the boot, but not before getting more fodder for therapy.

We begin with Maggie telling us how happy she is to have a second chance after last week's near elimination. Her partner Jenn feels the same. Bette-Sue tells us that, though it was a relief at first, it's pretty scary going into week two. I guess realizing that you're going to have to work out twenty-three hours a day for yet another week would be kind of a buzzkill. Bob and Jillian enter with some news that they're obviously happy to share -- in the spirit of camaraderie, they're pairing up to be "the dynamic duo." Yes, the teams will get the benefit of both trainers. Aww, they're so adorable and in love in a totally platonic gay way! And I bet Kim is hating her life right now, which is a total bonus. You might suspect that the teams would be pleased, but their faces tell us differently. Jillian gives the teams her mantra of, "Beatings, beatings, beatings," and Bob finishes with, "And more beatings." So cute!

With the Bob/Jillian ticket, folks are bound to be skinner than ever, says Bob. Jillian tells us that they have different personalities -- Bob is Mr. Yoga, while she's a screamer. Indeed! I like that in a girl. Bob says that Jillian is the craziest person he's ever met, and there's going to be so much drama. Jillian says that Bob is the kinder, gentler trainer, but she doesn't believe in coddling her trainees. Mallory and Curtis look fucking tired after the doubly intense workout. Exes Kelly and Paul say that the trainers' idea of fun is a lot different from theirs. Yeah, a lack of making each other cry in public is so dull. I know who I'd rather invite to a party! In any case, the workouts are more intense than ever, and Bette-Sue ends up wiping out on the treadmill and maybe gets her hands crushed. But then she totally gets back on, and Jillian doesn't even have to scream at her! Jillian loves her, and not only because crushed hands make it near impossible to hang on the rails of the treadmill.

The teams meet with host Alison Sweeney, who tells them it's time to take a journey through the Hall of Truth. In the Hall of Truth, they'll face some hard facts that will demonstrate to them how bad things were. Are they going to have to look at naked pictures of themselves? Oh, it's even WORSE! They have to look at interview footage of themselves talking about their eating habits, and learn the precise nature of the crap they're putting into their bodies. Newlyweds Neill and Amanda consumed 412.5 pounds of sugar annually through soda alone, and 68.64 pounds of fat from, I think, Oreos. More numbers start coming all at once, and it's a little like the tunnel scene in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Actually, "Neill" might in fact be a grown-up Augustus Gloop. Keep your dirty hands out of the chocolate river, Neill!

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Biggest Loser

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