The season starts with a black screen, with the supposedly inspirational quote: "Feel the fear. Do it anyway." Well, it would be motivating if Jillian weren't screaming it at the top of her lungs. It's like a lightning strike effect. This is followed up by: "I know it hurts, but I'm saving your life right now," yelled out by Bob, though with Bob it's less of a scream and more of a loud statement.

Previously on The Biggest Loser, Ali lost an entire person of weight and won the first-ever couples edition. Now this season's gimmick once again pairs teams up by familial connection. So much for blaming mom for those big-ass hips. "The family they got fat with is the family they'll get thin with," states obvious announcer guy. Bob and Jillian handpicked their teams, and they trekked around the country to surprise them. Bob's got the married couples. Jillian's got the parent/kid combos. "You've never seen a family get together quite like this," announcer dude promises. Oh. I hope it's as good as a Rock of Love parents weekend. That's good stuff. Somehow I'm thinking that's not in the cards here. Just lots of sweating and eating. No dicksucking accusations being tossed around. (Potes has the night off, and it just wouldn't be right if I didn't bring up ROL at least once. Don't worry, she'll be back next week, with her regularly scheduled BL bitchfest) There's plenty of preview footage of Bob and Jillian yelling at people, and some slip and slides, so that's something. Oh, god, they're using "I'll Stand By You," by the Pretenders... ugh. This is going to be a long... long season.

It's only the previews, and they're already trying to make me think that someone might die this season on the treadmill. Yeah, I'm not that stupid. And now announcer dude is saying, "It doesn't matter if they were born into it, or sworn into it... " I just gagged. Literally. Never a good sign when the eye-rolling begins before the opening credits.

Finally, down to business. Bob's in Greenville, SC. He's meeting Amy and Phil. They're real estate agents, and they have an autistic son. Amy says she was skinny, until her son was diagnosed with autism. Then she got stressed and started stuffing her face. Not sure if that's Phil's excuse as well, but they show him sitting beside her eating. They're in a big, empty room, surrounded by their whole town, and Bob sneaks in. He tells them they'll be on the show. Much squealing ensues. Their three kids come in sporting red tees, they put on theirs, Amy and Phil have lost their identities and will heretofore be known as The Red Team. Hope they've got a good babysitter, because off they go.

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