Biggest Loser

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Angel Cohn: A- | Grade It Now!
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We're a Fat Family

Last chance workout. Lots of shouting. Lots of sweating. Lots of Jillian standing or sitting on people. Two and a half hours of pain. Adam is masochistic and begs for his individual "torture" session. Heba compares it to giving birth. She pukes in the trash can. Purple Amy is ready to quit.

Then there's the long dark walk to see Ali and the scales. Ali's wearing the cutest little red and white flowered dress. She gives the standard schpiel about falling below the yellow line and voting.

Up first are Jerry and Coleen -- they go first because they have immunity. Team Yellow loses a collective 27 pounds. Jerry sheds 17 and he was only allowed to work out 30 minutes a day. That's pretty impressive. Now for the bad news. Ali's got serious face on and everything. The music got all dramatic. And commercial.

Team Orange steps up. Heba is down by 12. Ed loses 17. Their 29 pounds is 4.61%. They're feeling pretty confident. On Team Pink, Michelle loses 17 and Renee 14. Their 31 pounds puts them at 6.09 percentage of weight loss. They jump into the lead. The Toms step up. L.T.'s down 18. Big Tom is down 24. 24!!! That's insane. They lost 42 pounds and are at 6.26% lost. They are in the top spot. I'm thinking they'll be tough to beat if they drop below that yellow line. Red Team's next. Amy's down 16. Phil's down 23. That's 39 pounds (in case you couldn't do the math.) They have lost 6.96% of their body weight. They are guaranteed to be safe. They flash to Team Orange, who's starting to look more than a little nervous.

Team Green goes. Stacey only loses 9 pounds. I say only, because that's small compared to the numbers we've seen. Amazing in regular circumstances. Hubby Adam loses 19. Their percentage is 4.99%, which puts them ahead of Heba and Ed, but not by that much. The Purple team is told they have to have lost more than 22 pounds collectively to stay above the yellow line. Shellay has 12. Amy (who almost quit) lost 17. That's way more than 22. Team Orange is officially in the bottom two. The Green team is on the bubble. Team Brown is the last to weigh in and they've got a two-pound penalty to contend with. The music starts getting all dramatic as they step on the scale, so I know that there's a commercial break coming before we get the results. And when I see people covering their faces in shock, like whatever the scales are saying is the most unbelievable thing they've ever seen in their whole life, I know I'm right.

And.... we're back! With a rehash of what we've seen, and then the totals. Vicky took off 19 pounds. Brady lost an insane 28 pounds. It is 47 pounds. Brady almost cracks a smile. Their percentage, with the two pound penalty, is 7.67%. Not only keeping them out of the bottom, but also putting them in first place. Vicky interviews that she feels awesome. Team Green joins the Orange team below the yellow line. I'm hoping that my instant love of the Green team didn't somehow curse them.

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Biggest Loser

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