Next up are Blue Team Arthur and Jesse. Everyone looks kind of nervous, because of how visibly huge Arthur is. Jesse weighs 293 pounds, while Arthur weighs in at a whopping 507. That's 800 total pounds. Arthur says that a year and a half ago, he weighed 646. Egads! That's Discovery Health Channel big. Jillian tells Arthur that they have nothing but time, and that they already know he can do it. Jesse, who instantly is identified as this season's super-likeable old guy, says that they're going to kick this in the butt. Bob tells us that even though season 9 winner Michael started off at 526 pounds, he was over six feet tall. Arthur is only 5'8", making him the largest contestant the show has ever had. Hopefully he won't be the one who actually dies and causes the show to shut down for good.

Mysterious Green Team members Jay and Jennifer are next, and weigh 400 and 278 pounds, respectively. I think they're father and daughter. Jennifer speechifies, and says that she won't quit until she reaches her goal. At least she didn't say "pay it forward." The Purple Team is Olivia and Hannah. Olivia weighs 261 pounds, while Hannah weighs 248. Gray father and daughter team Moses and Kaylee are next. Kaylee weighs 233 pounds, while Moses weighs 440. Moses is Tongan! The show should just put its campus smack in the middle of the Kingdom of Tonga. I can't understand a word that Moses says, but I think it has something to do with various Tongan teams past.

Next is the Black Team, twins Dan and Don. Seeing them shirtless actually made me shudder involuntarily. So very pasty. They weigh a combined 596 pounds. One is 287, while the other is whatever 596 minus 287 is. Dan/Don says he's tired of being the fat guy, and not having a normal life. He has a wonderful wife and two wonderful children. A few months ago his son, who is so distraught over his obesity, said he wants nothing to do with him. Well, that's kind of fucked up. What a shitty son. I'd throw a bag of Doritos at him and tell him good riddance. The other Dan/Don is motivated by his son Adam, who had a drug problem and died of an overdose at age 24. Dan/Don had lost 100 pounds a month before his son died, but then gained it all back.

With that, only the Yellow Team remains to weigh-in. This is Justin and Rulon. Rulon says that he weighed 286 pounds when he won the gold medal for some kind of fat guy wrestling in 2000. In 2004, his weight class was cut to 265 and he was super lean. Relatively. Rulon now weighs 474 pounds, and Justin, the silent partner, weighs 365. That's 839 pounds, and means that Justin and Rulon are the heaviest team on the ranch. Let's get Justin's opinion on that. Psych! Sami again turns to Rulon, who says that this is horrifying to him and his family and beautiful wife. Sami asks Bob if it's surprising to see a successful athlete in this state. Bob is not surprised, and says that when you're so extreme, you'll go very far to the other side. He knows that Rulon can do anything he sets his mind to, but has so much to learn. And then Justin finally does get to talk. He says that he started watching the show last year, and totally judged the man boobs of some poor 302-pound dude. And here he is with man boobs of his own, weighing 365 pounds. He's going to be a husband, father and citizen that people can be proud of. I actually see why they don't let him talk so much.