Biggest Loser

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Ring the Alarm

The next day, Jillian leads a little spin class in the gym. No one has hit the two percent button yet, and everyone is working out fiendishly to try to burn it off or sweat it out. Sam kind of pretends like he's going to hit the button, but really just caresses it gently for a minute. Back at the house, Drea and Ashley strategize. Like much of life, it's all about timing. They both are cognizant of the fact that Melissa is a master of strategy, and has been asking everyone when they're going to push the button. Everyone seems to be planning to wait at least another day or two. Sunshine tells O'Neal that she doesn't want to push the buzzer at all. She's at 202 now, and wants her big getting-below-200 moment to happen in full glory on the scale. Ashley, meanwhile, is freaking herself out with the "When do I push the buzzer" narrative. She kind of wants to be the first person to do it, but also doesn't want to jump the gun.

And then! Buzzer! Victoria has pushed the button! Poor Sam and Drea are getting love from the physical therapist, and have to jump up and go to the gym. Melissa thinks that Victoria is a fool, which very well might be correct. Victoria puts her card in the ATM of doom, then steps on the scale. She needs to have lost six pounds. She actually loses three. Not enough. Victoria's heart drops, but Melissa's palpitates with evil joy. I think Victoria just wanted to have some buzzery fun.

Day three! The contestants head to a giant pool, where Sami awaits. It's challenge time! To win, she says, the contestants will need to carry weight from the middle of the pool to the end, faster than everyone else. At the bottom of the swimming pool, there are 1,000 one-pound weights. That's 100 for each contestant. The contestants must bring up weights, no more than two at a time, and drop them on a designated scale. The first person to get 100 weights on their scale wins. I'm having an asthma attack just thinking about that. The winner of this challenge gets an all-expenses paid two-week trip for two to the award-winning Biggest Loser Resort at Fitness Ridge. It's basically like a very glamorous fat camp. The last person to finish will receive a one-pound disadvantage, which is sad times. There's another little twist -- when a contestant has all of his or her 100 pounds, he or she is free to help a friend, or not. If I were in this situation I would help exactly no one, because I would be passed out on the side of the pool.

The contestants begin the challenge! Sunshine is a good swimmer and takes an early lead. However, she notes that this shit is going to take all day. Sam is also off to a strong start, and is tied with Sunshine for an early lead. Everyone is diving down to get weights at the same time, so there are lots of collisions and kicks to the head. Oh, and wow. If you thought it was painful for the contestants to show their man-boobs on the scale, you have no idea what the close-up underwater belly cam looks like. I was, in fact, not ready for that jelly. At the half-hour point, the contestants are still at it. Sunshine has 50 pounds first, and Sam is right behind her. Victoria is in a close third. O'Neal and Mike are tied for last place.

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Biggest Loser

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