Biggest Loser
Episode 14

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And then, Burgandy. She even has a drag queen name! She was not nearly so draggish on campus when she was digging through giant piles of sand. Burgandy started at 231 pounds. To take the lead from Adam, she needs to have lost more than 104 pounds. Her current weight is167, or 64 pounds lost. That's 27.71%, and not nearly enough to knock Adam off of his throne of hotness and victory.

More contestants! Remember Rick? He was kind of an old guy, and is wearing the tux in which he got married in 1964. Then there's Jessica, who looks super sassy and also like she didn't lose all that much weight. Whoa! And then there's Aaron! I love that guy. He very well may take the crown from Aaron. He started off really big and looks absolutely amazing. I think we might wear the same pants size, actually. Ooh, I want to give him a big squeeze! Rick tells Sami that 32 years ago he got married in a tux, and hasn't worn a tux since. He really wanted to wear one for the finale, so went and bought a new tux. Oh, lies. That tux has been in mothballs for 45 years! Anyway, his wife loves him and feels like she got her husband back. They have big and tall tuxes, you know. It's not like skinny jeans. But this tux represents the start of the next 32 years. But who cares, because Aaron's here! Sami tells him that he was a different man when she met him in Detroit. She asks what kind of father he is to London today. Sadly, Aaron's audio is failing, but we can hear him say that London is his joy and his heart and his everything. Someone gives him a hand mic eventually, and he says a few more words about how much his son means to him. Love!

Sami then gushes about how big and incredible next season is going to be. They've got some really fat people, folks. One guy is maybe a sumo wrestler. BIG.

Rick is first of this group to weigh-in. He had lots of integrity or whatever. Rick started at 350 pounds. He needs to have lost more than 158 pounds to beat Adam. His current weight is 185, which is a loss of 165 pounds! No way! He doesn't even look that skinny to me, but apparently he is! Rick has taken the lead from Adam, and Adam doesn't seem to mind all that much. Sami looks delighted by this turn of events. Good for Rick. The old guys seem to really know how to turn it out. Then there's Jessica. She and Ada weren't friends, and then they were. Great montage. Jessica started at 282 pounds, and needs to have lost more than 132 pounds to beat Rick. She currently weighs 190, which is a loss of 92 pounds. That's 32.62% lost, and Rick retains his lead.

And then there's Aaron. He started off at 468 pounds, and was this season's heaviest contestant. And the most likable! We see Aaron apologizing to Jillian, and talking about how he's let so many people down. Heartbreaking! But then Aaron pushes through and is awesome and he loves his son and victory! I totally hope he wins the at-home prize. He needs to have lost more than 220 pounds to do it. He laughs, which makes me think that he knows there's no way that he's done it, though I still like to maintain the faith. Aaron's current weight is 296 pounds, which means he's lost 172 pounds. That's 36.75%. I guess he didn't lose as much weight as I thought. It's actually kind of crazy that he still weighs almost 300 pounds. But he looks great, and is clearly super happy, so hopefully he'll continue with the healthy good times!

Rick is still in the lead, but there is one more person he has to contend with. It's Mark, who must have lost a shit ton if they're bringing him out by himself at the end. Indeed, Mark looks like an entirely different, very skinny person. He's wearing a sharp suit, and seriously, his entire face has changed! He looks like my dentist, in a good way. Mark reminds us that he went to live with his crazy cousin in the desert. She's lost 115 pounds, and kept him focused. He couldn't have done this without his family, and the Biggest Loser alumni family. He's been talking to Sunshine, Amanda from season 8, and Coleen from season 6. He starts crying, because the support means a lot to him.

Finally, Mark weighs in. He weighed 421 pounds when he came to campus. His montage reminds us that he lost 41 pounds in his first week. Crazy! Mark hesitates in stepping on the scale, even though he's clearly crushed this shit. Good Lord, his guns! Mark needs to have lost more than 198 pounds to have beaten Rick. Wow, that's a lot. Mark's current weight is 208, which is a loss of 213 pounds! Jeebus! He lost over half of himself! That's 50.59%, to be exact. Mark has won a well-deserved $100,000, and even Jillian and Bob are in awe of how much he has been up in the gym, working on his fitness. Way to go, Mark!

Oh, and then we get another awe-inspiring contestant from next season. This one had to actually lose weight before coming on the show, because the doctors didn't think it would be safe for her otherwise. Seriously, people, when will it end? In season 12 there will be a forklift, but instead of it hauling half-ton contestants out of their bedrooms, they'll have to chase it for a mile to campus in their very first challenge. Anyway, this contestant had to lose 100 pounds on her own, while working at an ice cream shop. After the clip ends even Jillian is like, "WTF?" She's so glad she's out of there come May.

And now it's time to figure out who is the big winner! We've seen Ada already, of course, and remain deeply in love with her. Frado comes out, looking totally skinny and quite sharp. His gorgeous family claps for him and he does a little turn for us on the catwalk. And then Patrick emerges, also looking super skinny in a flannel shirt! He punches the fat hologram of himself, which I'm sure Dr. Phillian would take issue with if she had the chance. Sami tells Patrick that when we first met him, he wasn't excited about his future. But now his future is so bright he has to wear a visor, at least. He has a job opportunity from a school in South Carolina, which has a program dedicated to helping overweight teens. He's going to help kids who are struggling to make the changes that he's made. And he gets a paycheck! And it will help keep him on point with his weight loss. Frado's kids can now wrap their arms around him, and call him a "little man." Awww.

Frado was the biggest loser in the last weigh-in, so gets to determine the order in which our final three will get on the scale. He's going to go first, with Ada second and Patrick third. Sami dismisses our finalists to get changed and prepare for the madness ahead.

While they get ready, it's time to talk about the new trainers. A video plays in which we see said trainers in shadow. The lady trainer is a former golden gloves champion who's had to fight for everything she's ever achieved. Now she's going to teach the contestants how to fight for their lives. He's a martial arts expert who's been named the best trainer in New York, and now he's ready to share his world-class skills on the ranch. And then WTF? I thought we were going to learn who they were, but I guess not. Sami tells us to tune in three weeks from now to season 11.

Finally, weigh-in time. Frado. He was really sick, y'all. And he really loves his family. Frado was in the Marines once upon a time, and so really loved boot camp week. He bit it on the treadmill once, and did a lot of screaming while lifting weights. Frado has changed his life, and gives The Biggest Loser lots of credit. Even when he was sucked into douchery, he had his wonderful family to make him likeable again. Frado started this season at 367 pounds. His current weight is 205. That's 162 pounds lost, or 44.14%. Not too shabby!

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