Biggest Loser
Episode 14

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | Grade It Now!
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Economic Upturn

I just wanted to take this moment to let you know that I completed this recap while wearing a snuggie THAT I MADE. With a foot pocket! I deserved that pound of brownies. I know snuggies in fact promote the opposite of fitness, but they are still awesome. And it's fucking cold. So, now for another preview of next season. New trainers, la la la. The contestants are going to have to make a choice whether to train with Bob and Jillian on the ranch, or train with the two new trainers in a secret location. There is an opera singer, and twin brothers, and the former Olympian. Exciting times.

Finally, we get back to the weigh-in. Ada is next on the scale. Her montage features a lot about her sad family situation, and a lot of her kicking ass and taking names. And then her family reconciliation happened, and now she feels like anything is possible. Her dad sits in the audience and scowls. She still looks super happy though. Ada started at 258 pounds, and will need to have lost more than 113 pounds to take the lead from Frado. Her current weight is 159, for a loss of 99 pounds. That's 38.37%. Oh, boo. Though I knew it was unlikely that she could best the big guys, I still held out hope. Good for her, though, for looking and being so awesome. She wins the Potes Prize for Being the Greatest, which comes with the prize of a homemade snuggie.

So now it's down to Patrick. Patrick was tragically close to death, and with two little boys to boot. He worked his ass off to make his sons proud. He also really wanted to win the show, because he needed the cash. Patrick tells Sami that his lifestyle change is here to stay. And then, it is the moment of truth. And the moment when we can get our Tuesday nights back for a few weeks. Patrick started at 400 pounds, and needs to have lost more than 176 pounds to beat Frado. His current weight is 219 pounds! That's 181 pounds lost, and Patrick has won. No big surprise there. Confetti pours down. Like, an extreme amount of confetti. It's impossible to see what's even happening. Maybe I'm having a seizure. Sami wishes us happy holidays, Patrick grabs his wife and twirls her around, and we're finally out!

Here's wishing you, a safe, happy, and not too fattening holiday times! Thanks for reading, and I'll see you next season.

Potes, who with the aid of her snuggie plans not to move from the couch for three weeks straight, can be reached at potesypotes@gmail.com.

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Biggest Loser

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