Sami changes the subject to the Pound for Pound challenge. There's a clip package about people losing weight and pledging pounds and food donations and I don't really follow it all, but it seems like good news.

Then things get weird, with Stacey London doing some kind of live commercial that has to do with a "reality hair star." In six years of recapping, I have never seen anything that makes me want to injure myself more than this does.

Are we almost done? When we come back, new and improved Daris is standing onstage next to Koli. Sami calls out Ashley, who bursts through her "before" picture looking pretty hot. Sami comments on her transformation from the treadmill-tumbler to the "Pink Ninja," and she says she surprised even herself. That just leaves Michael, who pops out of his "before" photo looking like a rock star, complete with a black leather jacket, and a big silver skull-shaped belt buckle, and shoulders thrown back like those of a superhero. I mean, I get that he used to have to stand like that to keep from toppling forward, but now it comes off as a bit much. As he joins the others downstage, he preens a bit before saying he's going to keep going, because "the sky's the limit." No, I think a 17 BMI is the limit. As the campus's biggest loser, Michael gets to pick the order for the weigh-ins of the final three, and he says he'll go from youngest to oldest: Daris, Ashley (who he leers over), and then himself.

After plenty of ads, it's time for Daris's clip package, from his initial weigh-in, to his confession of never having had a girlfriend, to his workouts, to his four-hour marathon time, and now it's time to get him on the scale. He started at 346, and now he's at 178, which is a 168-pound loss, or 48.55% he's thrilled, even though I can't see Michael not beating it. That dude doesn't even look like himself any more.

Now Ashley is tracked from her initial weigh-in to talking about her dead dad, and of course her camera-shaking fall off the treadmill, and her transformation from the underdog to the "Pink Ninja." I don't think she knows that "Ninjutsu" in Japanese means "the art of silence." She gets on the scale. She started at 374, and needs to have lost more than 181. "Come on, Ash," someone calls from the audience while the scale beeps, like she can help herself by thinking light thoughts. Her new weight is 191, which means she lost 183 pounds, enough to put her 48.93% weight loss over Daris's 48.55%. She and Daris hug, and Sami sends him off to join the others.