Last week on The Biggest Loser: The Magical Blistery Tour commenced! Bob, Jillian and Sami embarked on a journey to find 21 unhealthy and overweight contestants, some of whom they tried to kill with physical challenges. In each of seven sites, two of three contestants gained access to the ranch by not falling over and/or having asthma attacks. Victory?
Our fourteen contestants are now at the ranch, where sun shines on free weights in a rather ominous manner. Stay-at-home mom Lisa from Oklahoma City tells us that she's on campus to find herself amidst all the marbled fat. Tucson Jessica, a 26-year-old wedding planner, pushed through the one-mile challenge in Phoenix and is ready to gain the life of a skinny lady. Special education teacher Brendan wants to show the inner city kids of Boston that there's hope. If there's hope for him, he says, there's hope for them. I am a New England-based education reform researcher in my real life, and I will tell you that it would take impossible feats of dickitude for me not to root for Brendan. Seriously: he wins.
Sami officially welcomes the contestants to campus and tells them that getting to campus was easy -- staying will be the hard part. Because the competition is about to get 700 pounds bigger. Bob and Jillian each got the chance to save one person from among the seven rejected potential contestants. We get sepia-toned flashbacks of Bob and Jillian calling their chosen ones with the good news. Jillian picks Elizabeth, the domestic violence survivor from Boston who went so far as to faint before giving up on her challenge. Bob chose adorable and awesome and gargantuan Aaron from the Detroit competition. With the contestant pool full at sixteen, Sami drops the news that this is an individual game -- no teams this year, despite some matching shirts.
The contestants run to the gym to meet Bob and Jillian, who scoff at their cheering enthusiasm. They are all about getting to work. Jillian says that she doesn't want to hear the sob stories yet -- she wants them to get on the treadmill and show her what they've got. Bob and Jillian take pains to drive the fear of Dom DeLuise into the contestants, and we get past season flashbacks to let us know they're for serious. Jillian seems amused that the contestants are still smiling. This does not last for long. With a quick cut, the contestants are sweating and miserable and in hell. And puking in buckets! And puking on the treadmill. That is disgusting, and I imagine it's also really hard to get out of the underside of the treadmill. Lisa assures us that the pain of natural childbirth is no match for the day one workout.