The contestants get suited up in flotation gear and helmets, which hopefully will help to balance them. They progress like a row of ants across the first beam. Things are going well until Tracey gets involved, with her terrible mystery medical condition balance issues. She's shaking so hard in the legs that the whole beam shakes. Finally, she makes it to the first raft. Jeezum crow. The rest of the contestants make it with relative ease, and they win the first five-pound advantage. The second beam is narrower as promised. No one wants to be the jag-off who falls in the water and ruins it for everyone, but Abby comes close. However, she makes it to the next raft as do the others, and that's another five pounds! The third balance beam is even tinier, but everyone really wants the phone calls home. Sean tells us that his wife is pregnant, and so he feels kind of bad about leaving her all knocked up and alone and would at least like to talk to her on the phone. Danny cries about how much he wants to talk to his wife and kids. Things get really shaky, but everyone makes it. Oh, God, does this mean we have to endure watching them talk to their loved ones? Haven't we been through enough? I know, I know, but I put my heart in a Ziploc bag to keep it fresh and now can't find it. I tried replacing it with a Jennie-O turkey/protein powder mix, to no avail. The contestants all make it to the fourth raft, and get the additional 10-pound pass. There is much celebration.

Danny plays a lovely tune on the guitar as we see the contestants calling their loved ones. There's some crying involved, as you would expect. Everyone loves their families, which is sweet but kind of boring. Julio redoubles his resolve to stop being such a slug. Abby talks to her mom, and we are reminded of her whole tragic story. She tells her mom that she climbed a mountain and two little butterflies followed her the whole way. And fuck it if I'm not crying. Arrrrrgh! I was doing so well at being cold and steely! Danny is the cryingest male contestant ever. Or he is at least tied with Sean, who learns that he's going to be having a girl. Danny plays us out. I would prefer the dulcet tones of Keyboard Cat.