Biggest Loser

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Week Two Blues

Danny plays a lovely tune on the guitar as we see the contestants calling their loved ones. There's some crying involved, as you would expect. Everyone loves their families, which is sweet but kind of boring. Julio redoubles his resolve to stop being such a slug. Abby talks to her mom, and we are reminded of her whole tragic story. She tells her mom that she climbed a mountain and two little butterflies followed her the whole way. And fuck it if I'm not crying. Arrrrrgh! I was doing so well at being cold and steely! Danny is the cryingest male contestant ever. Or he is at least tied with Sean, who learns that he's going to be having a girl. Danny plays us out. I would prefer the dulcet tones of Keyboard Cat.

The contestants hang out in the kitchen eating Subway sandwiches (natch!) when they are treated to a visit from Bob and Jillian. They tell the trainers that they now have a 35-pound advantage at the weigh-in, and Bob and Jillian remind them that losing a collective 115 pounds is still going to be a big challenge. They don't want the contestants to have a false sense of confidence. The contestants head to the gym as Bob and gym strategize. Jillian explains that when your body drops a large amount of weight in a short amount of time, it goes into survival mode and your metabolism is put on hold. If they eke out bigger numbers this week, they will for sure pay in week three. Bob says he plans to go after Julio, which Jillian heartily endorses. She adds that Julio is not doing the work, and says that she wants Bob to kill him.

And kill him Bob does! Julio starts off the last chance workout by telling Bob that his legs are dead. Bob could give two shits. Liz leg presses Jillian as Bob delivers Julio the beating of his life. Jillian then plays tug-o-war with Rudy, which is hilarious. Bob explains that it's Bob and Jillian against everyone, and then joins Jillian's side of the tug-o-war. 1Rudy = 2(Bob+Jillian), and so he wins. It was pretty even for a while, though. There is yelling and screaming and sweating, and Jillian explains that beatings act like a truth serum, and everything that the contestants have been stuffing down comes flooding up like so much exercise-induced vomit. Shay, who has never been happy, wants to be happy, which entails letting go of her dead heroin-addict mom. She starts bawling, and Bob makes her say that she deserves to be happy. Shay realizes that a lot of her pounds are wounds and broken promises. I mean, she does deserve to be happy. Bob wants Shay to have these feelings, but to get strength from them rather than being thrown into chaos by them. I think she'll do it -- she seems pretty badass underneath it all.

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Biggest Loser

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